THE controversial Saudi Arabian senior Football and Hurling championships are to go ahead as planned this winter despite protests of ‘sportswashin’, and will include several of Waterford’s most middle-of-the-road players in the tournament. “I think it’s a wonderful opportunity to bring the uniting power of hurling to an oil-rich Middle Eastern kingdom,” said Martin Campbell,… Read more »
WATERFORD landlord James Caughlan has regrettably informed the tenants at one of his properties that he needs them to vacate the premises, as he has a brother coming home from America who needs somewhere to stay and while Caughlan would rather keep his source of income from the house, this is family damn it. “Believe… Read more »
HAVE you ever thought about opening a shop of your very own, in a largely abandoned and empty shopping complex on the outskirts of town? If so, hundreds of units across the nation are available for you to lease right now, WWN Property can confirm. Take Elmwood Square on the Dublin road out of Waterford… Read more »
WATERFORD couple Angela and Damien Quinn have recently celebrated their 18th year of marriage, thanks to a combination of mutual dependence, laziness, and not wanting to disappoint their still-living parents, WWN can confirm. “Every morning I wake up and look in her eyes and see just a stack of papers in a solicitor’s office, thicker… Read more »
WITH less than 100 days to go to Christmas, Waterford dad-of-three Kenneth Albright has embarked on his usual quest to lose 14lbs of weight before December 20th, so that he can ‘enjoy himself over Christmas’ while putting every ounce back on. Albright, who never diets in the new year as he considers it ‘a bit… Read more »
THE ability to ruin a night out by bringing your party to the shadiest bar in town is not a skill people tend to hone over time, but it’s the only way to explain how Dublin man Kenneth Longwater manages to do it every single weekend according to his friends. “At this stage, it can’t… Read more »
IT’S hard to imagine that there was ever a time when you could pay a visit to an Irish house and not be offered a cup of tea, but that was very much the case as recently as the 16th century, when importers began to ship the product from the Far East for the first… Read more »
CHECKS are in place ahead of the Queen’s funeral to ensure that every man, woman and child in Britain shows sufficient grief, with harsh penalties in store for anyone that doesn’t meet the quota. Special powers have been granted to the Royal Sadness Squad enabling them to storm the homes of anyone who considers themselves… Read more »
CHA-CHING! The government has signed off on a minimum wage hike of 80c, meaning workers who put in a 37-hour week should see themselves better off by €1,600 a year, but instead of splurging it all on drink like the panicky animals you are, perhaps you should consider putting it to better use. – The… Read more »
WINTER is coming. Which means it’s time for The Great British Bake-Off, the only British product that an Irish person is permitted to enjoy. Last night saw season 13 kick off with with 12 new bakers, 2 hosts, 2 judges, and more buns than your Aunt’s wake. Here’s how it all went down: We were… Read more »