Author: Gerry McBride

HSE Admitted To A&E

THE government has asked for everyone in Ireland to keep the HSE in their thoughts today, after the ailing health service was rushed to A&E in the early hours of this morning after suffering a near-fatal fall in confidence. The 14-year-old system has been in ill health following a long history of abusive relationships with… Read more »

Warmer Outside Than In, Confirms Waterford Mother

CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »

Nation Finally Waking Up To How Awesome Cocaine Is

IRELAND has begun to question its reliance on alcohol as it’s intoxicant of choice, after hearing nothing but good reports about the energy-packed euphoric goodness of that sweet, sweet cocaine. Once considered a ‘rich man’s drug’, cocaine use has grown in Ireland along with the economy in recent years, with Ireland now the ‘best little… Read more »

Lisa Smith To Be Returned To War-Torn Hell Hole

WHILE the Irish Defence Forces are today planning a mission to extradite ‘ISIS bride’ Lisa Smith from the Turkey/ Syria border, a more elite and specialised Defence Forces team are working out how to get her back to her highly dangerous town of Dundalk, Co. Louth. A spokesperson for the IDF has confirmed that while… Read more »