THE government has asked for everyone in Ireland to keep the HSE in their thoughts today, after the ailing health service was rushed to A&E in the early hours of this morning after suffering a near-fatal fall in confidence. The 14-year-old system has been in ill health following a long history of abusive relationships with… Read more »
THE FORESTS outside Sydney, Australia have become the most recent wooded area to set itself on fire in a protest against climate change, following the example lead by the Amazonian rainforests earlier this year, and the subsequent Californian forest fires. It is believed the forests are self-immolating in the style of monks who set themselves… Read more »
CLIMATE change? Poor insulation? Magic? Whatever the explanation, one woman WWN spoke too on the subject of temperatures is adamant that she’s warmer when she’s outside exposed to the elements than when she’s inside her Waterford home. Mother-of-four Sheila O’Neal made the announcement about the heat of her house this morning at 11am after returning… Read more »
IRELAND has begun to question its reliance on alcohol as it’s intoxicant of choice, after hearing nothing but good reports about the energy-packed euphoric goodness of that sweet, sweet cocaine. Once considered a ‘rich man’s drug’, cocaine use has grown in Ireland along with the economy in recent years, with Ireland now the ‘best little… Read more »
SAVVY caffeine fans have outlined their plans to lie underneath coffee machines and allow the scalding hot liquid to pour directly into their open mouths, in a bid to avoid the incoming 25 cent single-use coffee cup levy aimed at tackling excess waste. “The government think they can force us into buying re-usable coffee cups… Read more »
CONSERVATIVE MP Jacob Rees-Mogg will today put his incendiary claim that he would have had ‘more common sense’ than the people who perished in the Grenfell blaze to the test, by being placed in a council flat and set on fire. 72 people lost their lives in the Grenfell Tower fire in June of 2017,… Read more »
THE government has seized on a once-in-a-generation opportunity to flush out as much bad news as possible in 24-hours, while the media devote the entire news cycle to the death of beloved RTÉ presenter Gay Byrne. With news outlets granting blanket coverage to the life and times of the former Late Late host, Fine Gael… Read more »
HOMEGROWN UFC hero Tommy ‘The Windmill’ Willson stunned the world of MMA over the weekend with an incredible first-round knockout against Hugo Hernandez with a precision-perfect knee to the temple, followed by a few more digs to Hernandez’s skull just to make absolutely certain he wasn’t getting up again. Dublin native Willson thanked his trainers… Read more »
WHILE the Irish Defence Forces are today planning a mission to extradite ‘ISIS bride’ Lisa Smith from the Turkey/ Syria border, a more elite and specialised Defence Forces team are working out how to get her back to her highly dangerous town of Dundalk, Co. Louth. A spokesperson for the IDF has confirmed that while… Read more »
CURRENT Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has ruled out a pre-Christmas general election, stating that he ‘didn’t feel it was right’ to send Ireland to the polls just now, and also adding that he ‘just didn’t want to, and go piss up a flagpole if you disagree’. Varadkar went on to state that May 2020 was his… Read more »