MOVING on to phase 2 of their long-term plan to rake in billions of euro in profits from their investments in Ireland, several so-called ‘cuckoo funds’ have begun to hoover ups sleeping bags and camping equipment to hoard them for the inevitable continued spike in homelessness down the line. “Well, you know, I mean, there’s… Read more »
A GROUP representing Donegal has taken to social media demanding a number of societal and infrastructure reforms for the county, or else they’ll ‘spike that R number so high you’ll all be in your houses until next Easter’. The sudden rise in Covid cases in Donegal has caused massive concern among NPHET and the government,… Read more »
CHIEF Medical Officer Tony Holohan has penned an emotional open letter to his hordes of online detractors, assuring them that as a doctor, he knows ways to make them ‘sing in pain’ that they’ve never encountered before, WWN can report. It was a busy week for Holohan on the open letter front, as he also… Read more »
ONCE believed to the the golden couple of the Illuminati-led secret worldwide cult that controls our every action, Bill Gates and his wife Melinda have announced that they are to part ways after 27 years of marriage; prompting speculation as to who will now gain control of their ever-growing horde of mind-controlled children around the… Read more »
DESCRIBED as ‘a modern relic’, an 8 inch curl of white dog poop has been sold to an anonymous bidder for just over 8 million euro, making it the most expensive faeces in history. Bumping off the previous record of 6.7 million paid of a curl of dinosaur poo by Nicholas Cage when he was… Read more »
ENCOURAGED by friends who insist that she’s still a vibrant young woman with plenty of life left to live, the Queen is to forgo a lifetime of mourning following the death of her long-term husband Prince Philip and ‘get back out there’, WWN can confirm. “Girlfriend, I know you ain’t thinking about moping around that… Read more »
BUZZ Adlrin, the last surviving crew member of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing mission, has spoken out following the death of his fellow astronaut Michael Collins, stating that Collins always agreed that it was Buzz Aldrin who ‘really held that whole moon trip together’. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you; I was the star… Read more »
FINDING out that a friend, neighbour, relative or well-wisher has access to a staff-only discount in their place of work that you can use to make massive savings from time to time is perhaps one of the only remaining reasons to form any sort of human bond with anyone; but how do you get your… Read more »
APRIL 26TH marks a number of notable changes to Ireland’s Covid-19 restrictions, but with the majority of the nation now totally institutionalised to the ‘new normal’, what does it mean now that we’re allowed to do a whole pile of stuff that we may not want to do anymore? WWN takes a look: 1) Golf… Read more »
“PASSENGERS for Tenerife, assume positions behind the yellow line!” bellowed a flight attendant on Ryanair’s inaugural flight to all of the Canary Islands in one go. “Red light, attach cord. Green light, jump! On three, go go go!” they yelled, as forty passengers carrying their luggage dove out the back of the plane, while the… Read more »