AS A potential €500 billion economic recovery fund is being proposed by Germany and France to help EU countries bounce back from the Covid-19 pandemic, the interfering bastards at the EU have dealt Irish political parties a severe blow after stating Ireland shouldn’t make cuts in vital areas that hammer ordinary citizens. Instead, those meddling… Read more »
FACE MASKS are set to be an ever-present in shops and on public transport for the foreseeable future. Of course, you can buy them at significant expense but did you know you can make them yourself out of items you find in the home; for example from the dead bat you found in the attic…. Read more »
“Bssssshatschibssssssshatschi!” This is what it sounds like when honey bee Annie goes about her work. The 39-day-old suffers from a pollen allergy – a particularly tough bit of bad luck for someone in her industry. “My grandparents on both sides were pollen collectors, my parents too – there was no question what I would do… Read more »
RESEARCHERS studying the propensity for craic post-lockdown have categorically agreed that there will be some messing done when all the lads get back together, WWN reports. Craic scientists have warned of a possible nationwide ‘craicademic’ following the lifting of restrictions and believe that there will be no end in sight to the messing and carry… Read more »
ONE LOCAL man deprived by the Covid-19 pandemic of his time-thieving, stress-inducing, daily commute to work has come up an ingenious solution. “I’ve missed hoors not indicating, being stuck in the one spot for 45 minutes, the best parts of my life slowly ticking away, but this McDonald’s drive-thru is an absolute God send,” confirmed… Read more »
A DAWN raid by police has resulted in the dismantling of the largest illegal hairdressing ring in the country and the seizure of €15,000 worth of hair dye, scissors and dozens of women’s gossip magazines, WWN can confirm. The calm of the morning silence in the sleepy Dublin suburb was punctured by the armed response… Read more »
THE kingdom of heaven is expected to undergo major austerity measures over the coming months as the Lord God almighty announced major cutbacks, WWN has learned. Citing a massive plunge in religious donations on Earth, God stated that billions of euros has so far been lost thanks to the ongoing global lockdown. “It’s my own… Read more »
IT REMAINS incredibly important to keep up to date with the latest information so you can 1) keep your family and others safe, 2) stay informed on the decisions taken by those in power and 3) and, no… no, you’re gone, we can see the eyes are dropping already. Switched over to Tik Tok or… Read more »
THE New South Wales region of Australia is set to reunite its downtrodden masses with their local pub, the jammy pricks, WWN can confirm. Pub-denied Irish people learned of the news as Sydney based Irish expats flooded their social media feeds with the usual displays of a far superior way of life abroad, the fucking… Read more »
DESPITE a considerable uptick in appreciation for those working in jobs evidently key to keeping daily life from disintegrating, employers have failed to join in calls for workers constantly praised as ‘frontline heroes too’ to be paid a cent over the minimum wage, WWN can reveal. Long dismissed as ‘low skilled’ jobs ‘beneath’ some people,… Read more »