Tag: instant

Interfering Bastards At EU Says Irish Government Should Tackle Problems In Health, Housing & Inequality To Fuel Recovery

AS A potential €500 billion economic recovery fund is being proposed by Germany and France to help EU countries bounce back from the Covid-19 pandemic, the interfering bastards at the EU have dealt Irish political parties a severe blow after stating Ireland shouldn’t make cuts in vital areas that hammer ordinary citizens. Instead, those meddling… Read more »

Rotten Luck! This Bee Has A Pollen Allergy

“Bssssshatschibssssssshatschi!” This is what it sounds like when honey bee Annie goes about her work. The 39-day-old suffers from a pollen allergy – a particularly tough bit of bad luck for someone in her industry. “My grandparents on both sides were pollen collectors, my parents too – there was no question what I would do… Read more »

Police Bust Underground Hairdressing Ring

A DAWN raid by police has resulted in the dismantling of the largest illegal hairdressing ring in the country and the seizure of €15,000 worth of hair dye, scissors and dozens of women’s gossip magazines, WWN can confirm. The calm of the morning silence in the sleepy Dublin suburb was punctured by the armed response… Read more »

Australia Reopen Pubs, The Pricks

THE New South Wales region of Australia is set to reunite its downtrodden masses with their local pub, the jammy pricks, WWN can confirm. Pub-denied Irish people learned of the news as Sydney based Irish expats flooded their social media feeds with the usual displays of a far superior way of life abroad, the fucking… Read more »

Essential Frontline Worker Worth €10.10 An Hour, Tops

DESPITE a considerable uptick in appreciation for those working in jobs evidently key to keeping daily life from disintegrating, employers have failed to join in calls for workers constantly praised as ‘frontline heroes too’ to be paid a cent over the minimum wage, WWN can reveal. Long dismissed as ‘low skilled’ jobs ‘beneath’ some people,… Read more »