Seasoned Pro Turns Down Volume, Looks Over Shoulder Before Playing WhatsApp Video Friend Sent

CAUGHT out too many times by the infamous moaning woman video prank, as well as various visually explicit and deeply unpleasant clips sent to him by friends, Martin Wales now knows better than to open certain messages in public.

“This one’s from John,” Wales said cautiously. “John once sent me that video of David Cameron pleasuring a pig during my wife’s dad’s funeral mass and the entire church was greeted to the audio. I’m going to have to hide for this one.”

At time of speaking, Wales had already begun donning hiking gear before setting off for the nearest remote mountain location where he could safely view the clip without risk of public humiliation.

Experts say the art of knowing not to open certain messages from certain friends does not come overnight.

Social psychology researchers estimate it can take anywhere from ten to twelve life-altering message openings before a person’s brain finally learns the correct survival procedure.

“They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in something,” one expert explained. “But in this case it’s about 10 to 12 catastrophic message openings before someone learns to lower the volume, check over their shoulder, and hover their finger over the screen ready to pause or close it immediately.”

Moments later, seasoned pro Martin Wales provided an update from Mahon Falls in the Comeragh Mountains.

“Ah right, John’s dad is dead,” Wales confirmed. “Poor John. But I’m definitely sending him the moaning woman disguised as a bereavement message in time for the removal, because that’s what good friends do.”