Local Man’s Pokemon Card Collection Valued At ‘Fuck All’

A WATERFORD MAN is said to devastated to learn that unlike YouTuber and professional dickhead Logan Paul, his old Pokemon card collection will not make him rich beyond his wildest dreams, WWN can report.

“I had already made a mental list of all my old bullies I was going to ring to shout ‘who’s a loser now?’ at but that’s ruined,” confirmed 34-year-old Pokemon die-hard Chris Sweeney.

Sweeney had burst into a flurry of activity yesterday after reading online reports that Paul’s PSA 10-graded Pikachu Illustrator card sold for $16.4mn, immediately ringing his 70-year-old mother and demanding she climb the ladder into the attic of the family home and search for his old Pokemon cards.

“I don’t care if it’s fucking raining, get out into the shed and check, I think they’re up in a shoe box on that rickety shelf next to all the sharp and heavy gardening tools and the open jug of bleach, you’ll be grand,” Sweeney had ordered of his mother.

Expert collectors and auctioneers state that ‘PSA10’ designated cards must have four perfectly sharp corners, sharp focus and full original gloss, meaning Sweeney’s collection of scribbled over half ripped cards with unidentified fluid on them will not command any price.

Elsewhere, former collectors of Pokemon cards which were thrown out by their parents reportedly face thousands of euro in therapy bills that will be required to deal with the fact their Jigglypuff could have been worth nearly €2.50 in an online Ebay auction.

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