LINGUISTS around the world have admitted that they’re ‘stumped’ when it comes to understanding how people from Northern Ireland have managed to form a language consisting of nothing more that high-pitched whines and snorts, WWN can report.
“There are chimpanzee communities in the deepest jungles of the world that can communicate using thirteen to fourteen basic throat sounds. Nordies have it down to three,” said Dr. Kellen Muster, author of ‘Northern Man & The Quest For Understanding’ published today.
“I myself spent weeks living in Northern Ireland as an observer, to see how they have bridged the gap from noise to language. I’ve drank Harp with these people. Marched with these people. And through it all, I’ve remained astounded by their ability to understand each other, even when nobody else can”.
Although Dr. Muster laughed off any suggestion that we may one day be able to hold conversation with a person that lives north of Newry, he did state that people should not let the lack of communication tools stop them from visiting Northern Ireland.
“In stores and pubs, simply point and make a noise that sounds like ‘at-dur’. That should work on most people. ‘At dur!’ you’ll say, and they’ll give you a bottle of Buckfast or fireworks or a big box of Daz or whatever it is you’re pointing at,” he told us.