HSE Warn Doctors Better Pay, More Resources & Less Hours Abroad ‘Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be’

“THE GRASS IS always greener as they say,” head of staff retention at the HSE, Michael Malachi said in remarks to the health service’s doctors, as Irish Medical Council report revealed 25% of Irish doctors work in excess of 48 hours a week.

Retention of staff remains a problem throughout all frontline roles in the HSE, but Malachi believes the abhorrent conditions in health systems across the world makes the Irish health system a flawless place to work.

“Sure, you’d be paid more abroad in many English speaking countries, and sure the hours are less and you’re better supported and resourced but is that really why you got into the healing the sick game? To have a healthy work life balance?” queried Malachi.

“Yes, 1000 doctors voluntarily removed themselves for the register to move abroad but I heard of one doctor in Canada whose stress levels plummeted and was never again on the constant verge of a cataclysmic mental breakdown once he moved over there, so let that be a cautionary tale of any of you looking to leave Ireland,” warned the retention specialist.

The HSE have previously acknowledged the long and unsafe hours doctors work, and have said they will endeavour to hone a training model which can teach doctors to work while sleeping standing up during mammoth shifts.

“And yeah by making you work such hours we’re constantly in violation of the European Working Time Directive, and you arrive in before every shift paralysed by anxiety, thinking ‘is this the day my exhausted and overworked body and mind makes a fatal error?’ but the weather in Australia is almost TOO nice so just suck it up, okay?” concluded an incredibly persuasive Malachi.

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