Children’s Hospital Completion Delayed As Snag List Storage Wing To Be Built

PLANS TO finally open the new National Children’s Hospital have been delayed once again following confirmation that a dedicated wing to house the building’s 12,414 defect list will need to be constructed before the facility can be considered complete.

Among the issues identified are water failing to drain in bathrooms, dust from building works entering the ventilation ducts, and dirt found underneath a layer of the operating theatre floor – a development that surgeons have noted may present challenges in a room specifically designed to be sterile.

“Not sure BAM got the memo, but running water and having the theatres clean should have been top of the list of things required to, you know, construct a children’s hospital,” one source confirmed.

The NPHDB told the Public Accounts Committee on Thursday that the hospital remained on track to open and that the snag list, while extensive, was entirely normal for a project of this scale and complexity.

“There’s a lot of fault files to store,” a government spokesperson confirmed. “We want to be clear about that. And we can’t rule out the possibility of a separate snag list extension for the snag list wing itself.”

In more uplifting news, the National Paediatric Hospital Development Board confirmed it has spent only €5 million on legal fees over the last 12 years.

“Considering this is probably the most expensive state-funded building in the history of mankind, it’s not really that much when you think about it,” confirmed a source. “It’s basically the 8th wonder of the world. A modern day pyramid.”