Coalition Government Lasting Way Longer Than Anyone Thought, In Fairness


THE Fianna Fáil/Fine Gael/Green coalition has adopted the Shania Twain song ‘Still The One’ as their anthem going forward, as the parties celebrates yet another week in government without killing each other.

“Looks like we made it” beamed current Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, popping a bottle of champagne.

“Look how far we’ve come, my baby” replied current Tánaiste Micheál Martin, clinking a glass with his pal.

“Go team!” added Green Party leader Eamon Ryan, who isn’t familiar with the song but is just delighted to be involved in any way.

Meanwhile, political commentators who ‘gave it a fortnight’ when the coalition was formed in 2020 have admitted that they have to hand it to the trio, as they believed that by this stage either Martin or Varadkar would have certainly killed the other and set the body on fire.

“Well fuck me, they’re actually lasting. Who knew having absolutely no shame whatsoever could be so effective,” said an incredulous media, who were certain that a general election would have been called many, many times by now.

“Covid, Brexit, the Protocol, crime, the HSE, so much rule-breaking and cronyism… things that would have driven a wedge in the strongest of relationships, seem to have just cemented the flimsiest of coalitions. Maybe it’s that they did such a job portraying Sinn Féin as this unthinkable, monstrously communist alternative? Maybe it’s that they have such sturdy fall guys in the shape of their junior coalition partners? But they’re doing it, damn it, they’re doing it”.

Meanwhile the public have stated that while they’ve moved into the ‘acceptance’ phase of the new government, and are prepared to defy the polls placing Sinn Féin in prime position to lead a government and vote in a such a way as to ensure the next 50 years will remain Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, swapping the Greens in and out with Labour along the way.