Tag: politics

Fears Grow For Johnson After Condition Described As ‘Strong & Stable’

FRESH concerns have been raised over the health of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson after Dominic Raab held a press conference to assure the public that Johnson’s condition was ‘strong and stable’; British for ‘weak and uncertain’. Johnson was admitted to St. Thomas’ Hospital yesterday with severe Coronavirus symptoms, and was admitted to ICU after… Read more »

Dislikeable Party Elect Dislikeable Leader

IGNORING a national yearning for political change as evidenced by the recent general election results, one dislikeable Irish political party has stuck to its guns by electing their most dislikeable leader yet; water metre touting, egotistical roaring sociopath Alan Kelly, WWN can unfortunately confirm. Speaking to WWN from his Tipperary home surrounded by homemade paper… Read more »

Man Tests Positive For Pro-Varadkar Thoughts

THE FAMILY of a normally staunch anti-Fine Gael man have spoken out after he tested positive for a number of pro-Varakar thoughts in recent days, warning others to keep an eye out for similar symptoms. “It started out with the odd positive comment or two, before he broke out into nonstop feverish praise, but the… Read more »

World’s Financial Institutions Unsure Exactly How They’re Going To Make Poorest Pay For All Of This

THE WORLD’S financial institutions, in conjunction with world leaders, have reassured the public that while they don’t know exactly how they’re going to fuck over the poorest in the world, they will certainly do so in a monumentally sociopathic fashion. “Bailouts. Stimulus. Debt repackaging. Whatever is needed – we’re going to act like we walked… Read more »

Trump Places Tariff On Coronavirus

IN much-needed good news for the USA, President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he is to impose a heavy fee on China for each and every US citizen confirmed to have contracted the Coronavirus, giving a much-needed boost to the on-the-ropes American economy. Millions of Americans had up to this point felt enormous fear and… Read more »

Covid-19 Appointed Housing Minister After Freezing Rents, Evictions & Securing Beds For Homeless

THE FINE GAEL caretaker government has been praised for fast-tracking the Covid-19 pandemic into the position of Minister for Housing, in a grown up move that set aside the usual political infighting and sniping. Ireland, bizarrely left without a housing minister since 2017, has rewarded Covid-19’s selfless ingenuity and diligent hard work behind the scenes,… Read more »