MOVING on to phase 2 of their long-term plan to rake in billions of euro in profits from their investments in Ireland, several so-called ‘cuckoo funds’ have begun to hoover ups sleeping bags and camping equipment to hoard them for the inevitable continued spike in homelessness down the line. “Well, you know, I mean, there’s… Read more »
BASKING in the triumph of a major victory in what is sure to be just the first of many pointless wars, Britain remains resolutely oblivious to how utterly ridiculous it appears to the outside world. Flashing a V-day sign on the steps outside 10 Downing St after the mighty British Navy gave those froggy fisherman… Read more »
WWN’S guest columnist today is none other than revered and respected Twitter account holder and very real person Barbara J. Pym, who discusses the fallout from Eoghan Harris’s sacking from the Sunday Independent after he was found be one of a number of individuals operating an anonymous Twitter account which sent abusive messages to journalists…. Read more »
BARELY stopping for breath in between sentences, leading figures from Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil and the Green Party are eager to alert the Irish public to a shocking discovery which is sure to blow everyone’s minds. “Guys, have you ever heard of this thing, I think they call it a ‘house sing Chrysler’ or something?… Read more »
FOLLOWING Arlene Foster’s announcement that she is to step down as DUP leader party leader on May 28th, a frothing group of mothball smelling men have scrambled to the fore in a bid to become First Minister of Northern Ireland at the end of June. Looking like they’ve a questionable internet search history and skeleton… Read more »
FRESH from breaking Covid protocols to gather together and masturbate in a circle over the rubber stamping of the Affordable Housing Bill by the government, developers have asked the Dept. of Housing to wire them the cash they’ll make from all this as they don’t fancy having to carry all that money on their persons…. Read more »
A GROUP representing Donegal has taken to social media demanding a number of societal and infrastructure reforms for the county, or else they’ll ‘spike that R number so high you’ll all be in your houses until next Easter’. The sudden rise in Covid cases in Donegal has caused massive concern among NPHET and the government,… Read more »
DUE to being held in higher esteem by young people than Tik Tok, WWN has been asked by the Department of No Jobs to use its influence to engage with younger generations and ask why they can’t take a hint. ‘I would emigrate only there’s a pandemic you fucking clowns’ is an understandable response to… Read more »
Describing it as one of the more disturbing raids carried out as part of an investigation, federal agents exiting Rudy Giuliani’s apartment are said to be suffering from Present-Traumatic Stress Disorder. “We recovered some electronic devices such as laptops, but once we made it passed the 400 boxes of hair dye and the butt plug… Read more »
FOLLOWING the sensational news that he is to quit the Dáil, Eoghan Murphy is said to be fretting over his possible replacement, unsure candidates are of the requisite low standard. “Looks like there’s a lot women in the running too, which is a cause for concern, they can’t flawlessly distract from a complete lack of… Read more »