FRESH concerns have been raised over the health of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson after Dominic Raab held a press conference to assure the public that Johnson’s condition was ‘strong and stable’; British for ‘weak and uncertain’. Johnson was admitted to St. Thomas’ Hospital yesterday with severe Coronavirus symptoms, and was admitted to ICU after… Read more »
IGNORING a national yearning for political change as evidenced by the recent general election results, one dislikeable Irish political party has stuck to its guns by electing their most dislikeable leader yet; water metre touting, egotistical roaring sociopath Alan Kelly, WWN can unfortunately confirm. Speaking to WWN from his Tipperary home surrounded by homemade paper… Read more »
THE FAMILY of a normally staunch anti-Fine Gael man have spoken out after he tested positive for a number of pro-Varakar thoughts in recent days, warning others to keep an eye out for similar symptoms. “It started out with the odd positive comment or two, before he broke out into nonstop feverish praise, but the… Read more »
THE WORLD’S financial institutions, in conjunction with world leaders, have reassured the public that while they don’t know exactly how they’re going to fuck over the poorest in the world, they will certainly do so in a monumentally sociopathic fashion. “Bailouts. Stimulus. Debt repackaging. Whatever is needed – we’re going to act like we walked… Read more »
“NOT long now ’til the real deal,” giggled Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin, during his early morning sneak into the Dáil chamber where he has been pretending to be the leader of the country since the Coronavirus crisis shut down normal government proceedings. With acting Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and his frontline team kept on their… Read more »
IN much-needed good news for the USA, President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he is to impose a heavy fee on China for each and every US citizen confirmed to have contracted the Coronavirus, giving a much-needed boost to the on-the-ropes American economy. Millions of Americans had up to this point felt enormous fear and… Read more »
FRESH from becoming to the Meme King of Ireland after dropping iconic Terminator dialogue into his last address to the nation, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar is bathing in the warm glow of affection he is completely unaccustomed to as a much maligned leader of the country. In a bid to secure himself further respite from being… Read more »
THE FINE GAEL caretaker government has been praised for fast-tracking the Covid-19 pandemic into the position of Minister for Housing, in a grown up move that set aside the usual political infighting and sniping. Ireland, bizarrely left without a housing minister since 2017, has rewarded Covid-19’s selfless ingenuity and diligent hard work behind the scenes,… Read more »
“THEY tried to make me waste all the money on people, healthcare workers and medical supplies, but I fought for what’s important; executive pay, bonuses and wealthy businesses,” President Trump tearfully confirmed to reporters after a historic $2 trillion stimulus package was passed by the US Senate. Trump spent long portions of the latest media… Read more »
THE IRISH people, never more unified against a common foe except for when the Brits couldn’t take the hint circa 1916, have insisted that while we’re all in this fight against the Covid-19 pandemic together, the once in a century threat isn’t grave enough to warrant a Fine Gael/Fianna Fáil coalition so hold your horses…. Read more »