Tag: news

Local Man Hasn’t Yet Found Positive Story He Can’t Shit All Over

IT COULD be a story of chocolate bought for healthcare workers by children using all their pocket money, factories repurposing facilities to produce much needed personal protection equipment or communities supporting their most vulnerable, people creating art and moments of levity. No matter the positive news amidst the current crisis, talented local man Cormac Prannell… Read more »

Fears Grow For Johnson After Condition Described As ‘Strong & Stable’

FRESH concerns have been raised over the health of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson after Dominic Raab held a press conference to assure the public that Johnson’s condition was ‘strong and stable’; British for ‘weak and uncertain’. Johnson was admitted to St. Thomas’ Hospital yesterday with severe Coronavirus symptoms, and was admitted to ICU after… Read more »

Dislikeable Party Elect Dislikeable Leader

IGNORING a national yearning for political change as evidenced by the recent general election results, one dislikeable Irish political party has stuck to its guns by electing their most dislikeable leader yet; water metre touting, egotistical roaring sociopath Alan Kelly, WWN can unfortunately confirm. Speaking to WWN from his Tipperary home surrounded by homemade paper… Read more »

Man Tests Positive For Pro-Varadkar Thoughts

THE FAMILY of a normally staunch anti-Fine Gael man have spoken out after he tested positive for a number of pro-Varakar thoughts in recent days, warning others to keep an eye out for similar symptoms. “It started out with the odd positive comment or two, before he broke out into nonstop feverish praise, but the… Read more »

Dad Up So Everyone Else Has To Get Up

OPENING all windows in the house despite it only being 7.23am during a nationwide lockdown, dad of four Charlie Hennebry is up out of bed and wide awake, a sure sign that the rest of his reluctant family members will have to follow suit. Pulling back the curtains in his son’s room with all the… Read more »