Tag: news

“Leave Sexy And Distinguished Eoghan Harris Alone” – Barbara J. Pym

WWN’S guest columnist today is none other than revered and respected Twitter account holder and very real person Barbara J. Pym, who discusses the fallout from Eoghan Harris’s sacking from the Sunday Independent after he was found be one of a number of individuals operating an anonymous Twitter account which sent abusive messages to journalists…. Read more »

British Government To Rename Murders Carried Out By Soldiers As ‘Whoopsy Daisies’

AHEAD of a rumoured decision to prevent future prosecutions of British soldiers by introducing a statute of limitations, the British government is set to reclassify murders carried out by soldiers during the Troubles as ‘whoopsy daisies’. “We work shopped a few terms, but we feel this showcases our staggering indifference to the murder of people… Read more »

Is Kim Kardashian Dating Van Jones? Who Is Van Jones? Why Am I Reading This? What Has Become Of My Life? Christ I’m 33, I Should Know Better

HE’S consistently rumoured to be Kim Kardashian’s new flame. A post-Kanye fling or something more lasting? And just who is Van Jones? And why oh why do I keep wasting my life devoting time to shit like this? Sure, a mindless scroll through the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame is harmless enough when you discount… Read more »

“Guys, You’re Not Going To Believe This But Apparently There’s A Housing Crisis?” Astounded Government Tells Public

BARELY stopping for breath in between sentences, leading figures from Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil and the Green Party are eager to alert the Irish public to a shocking discovery which is sure to blow everyone’s minds. “Guys, have you ever heard of this thing, I think they call it a ‘house sing Chrysler’ or something?… Read more »