ONE DUBLIN woman making a beeline for the toilets is cursing her decision to wear her jumpsuit to dinner at The Curry Pot restaurant. Eye witnesses confirm that Helen Crannon suddenly excused herself from the table she was dining at with several friends and was seen beginning the labour and time-intensive task of disrobing and… Read more »
IPHONE users are being incentivised to install the latest software update with the promise of being given the chance to spare one Chinese child from back breaking and unforgiving shifts on an Apple iPhone assembly line. “Some people like their phone’s operating system the way it is and fear change, so we were wracking our… Read more »
A CONTROVERSIAL new enclosure at Dublin Zoo has become the source of intense debate among the public, with many defending being given the chance to observe and study the social welfare recipient of the species just in time for the arrival of the Christmas bonus payment. “Some are already demanding its closure, but I quite… Read more »
THE EDITORIAL BOARD of WWN condemns in the strongest terms Tánaiste Leo Varadkar’s decision to leak the news of WWN’s new book ahead of its publication date today. The book is now available to order online or over the phone at all good local and independent book shops that would appreciate and value your business,… Read more »
FRESH from issuing its 200th ‘this goes against the ethos of the GAA’ statement of the year so far, the GAA has vowed to track down and identify the clandestine cell of fanatical soccer fans seeking to destroy Gaelic games from within. Prompted to reissue a boilerplate press release in the wake of news that… Read more »
SEVERAL behind-the-scenes members of Manchester City’s technical support staff have been fired in the wake of the club’s 1-0 defeat to Liverpool after failing to update Erling Braut Haaland’s software, WWN Sports can reveal. “It’s the easiest job in the world to tick ‘yes’ to automatic updates. Should have been the first you did after… Read more »
WRITTEN over the weekend after a bought of insomnia and mild insanity, and fueled by nothing but caffeine-free coffee, the Taoiseach Micheál Martin has promised a fateful and true depiction of one of Ireland’s most talked about politicians, unlike like that fawning sanitised Shane Ross book. WWN has the exclusive first extract of Micheál Martin’s… Read more »
DEPENDING on what time of day you’re reading this, Liz Truss is the British prime minister. But she’s got a hell of a week in front of her if she wants to quell the markets, regain the confidence of her own party and outlast George Canning’s 119 days in office back in 1827. Here’s how… Read more »
LOCAL lifelong brunette Marie Casslin is now being subjected to an intervention by friends after a drastic decision saw her go blonde, something everyone agrees she can’t pull off on account on her pale complexion. “Was it Madga down the salon? I’d say it was, she’s a divil for leading people astray telling them they… Read more »
KENNETH Pellan has totted up in his head how long it’s been since he watched the 1988 Brat Pack western Young Guns after noticing it while scrolling through Netflix and holy Christ, it’s been at least 30 years. “Fuck, I’m old,” sighed 45-year old Pellan before stating that he must watch the movie, once considered… Read more »