Tag: news

“Using Kangaroo Pouches To Transport Vaccines A Mistake” Admits Australian PM

AUSSIE PM Scott Morrison has admitted fault in the federal government’s vaccine strategy which remains a stuttering, poorly planned mess. “They’re not for taming, they don’t follow directions well and they absolutely won’t accept when they’ve fucked up,” Morrisson said of the kangaroos and not of his own administration. Morrison’s inability to speedily rollout a… Read more »

5 Ways Rooney’s Week Could Get Worse

EMBROILED in a late night drinking session turned photoshoot with women rumoured to be ensnaring him in an extortion plot, and now fresh from injuring one of the key players he’s manages at Derby, Wayne Rooney is having an awful week and it’s only Tuesday. WWN tempt fate on the United legend’s behalf by musing… Read more »

Common Misconceptions Tourists Have About Ireland

AS IRELAND gets to grips with the flow of international travel once more, there will be a substantial increase in the number of foreign tourists seeking to enjoy all the wonders Ireland has to offer. In an attempt to ensure incoming tourists have as good a time as possible, WWN would like to clear up… Read more »

BREAKING: Attractive Rich People Riding Again

NEWS SITES and Instagram gossip accounts have been driven to the verge of orgasmic climax over the news that two attractive rich people are once again having sex with one another. Pushing various news stories about climate devastation, famine, vaccine inequality and war from the front pages, leading publications have confirmed that Jennifer Lopez, a… Read more »

Ireland Claim First Gold Of Olympics In The Road Bowls Event

THERE WERE scenes of unbridled joy as octogenarian Tommy Flaherty secured Ireland’s first gold of the Olympics in the road bowls event in Tokyo today. Narrowly beating out the host nation’s representative in the final, 73-year-old Shinji Kato, Flaherty fulfilled a lifelong ambition after his 16th Olympic games. “Ah sure he’s an impish little fucker… Read more »