Tag: news

“Lockdown Crucial If We Want To Go Absolutely Fuckin’ Mental Over The Christmas” Confirms Taoiseach

CLARIFYING some elements of his speech to the nation last night, Taoiseach Micheál Martin confirmed that the next six weeks of lockdown have to go well if ‘we are to all go absolutely, balls-to-wall Irish-style mental over the Christmas’. “Horsing pints down your gullet like it was a Covid-19 vaccine while your head is squeezed… Read more »

Deranged Delaney Launches ‘Provisional FAI’

APPARENTLY not reacting well to the news that Jonathan Hill has been named the new, permanent CEO of the FAI, a man, who is clearly John Delaney wearing a balaclava and delivering an official statement in a poorly decorated spare room, has announced the formation of the ‘Provisional FAI’. “We in the Provisional FAI cannot… Read more »