Tag: news

Leaked: Varadkar’s Final Speech As Taoiseach

WITH the new three-party coalition paving the way for Micheál Martin to become Ireland’s next Taoiseach, current Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s days of Taoiseaching are coming to a close. Much of Varadkar’s final months as Taoiseach have been defined by his addresses to the nation during the Covid-19 pandemic outbreak, famed for the occasional vague hint… Read more »

Housewide Panic As Local Mother Joins TikTok

CONVENING an emergency meeting in the hallway of their home, the children of Waterford woman Deirdre Power are dealing with a full blown crisis. The severity of the situation became clear as teenagers Ellen, Caoimhe and Ronan heard the load unrelenting cackling of their mother who has spent the last hour laughing at and singing… Read more »

Nation’s Shirts Go Unworn For Another Month

THROUGH a combination of hugely devastating unemployment, and the noble commitment from those still in jobs to look increasingly unkempt, the nation’s supply of shirts have gone unworn for another month, WWN can confirm. With the large numbers of people working from home content to conduct video conference calls equipped with a 4 month old… Read more »

WWN Obituary: Dame Vera Lynn

THE death has occurred of Dame Vera Lynn in her 103rd year, following a long and difficult battle with disappointment in the current state of the UK and a lifetime of being sick of ‘that fucking song’. In honour of a storied life and career, WWN now takes a look back at the life of… Read more »

Wait A Minute, Could Trump Be Corrupt?

AMERICA has been blindsided today by revelations from former National Security Advisor John Bolton’s new book which allege, for the first time, that President Donald Trump guardian of all that is right and moral, could be corrupt and is unfit to be president. “Hang on just a second,” the America public shrieked, aghast at the… Read more »

Fianna Fáil Corruption: The Greatest Hits

WITH FIANNA FÁIL returning to power now has never been a better time to reacquaint yourself with what the party is most famous for; participating in and abetting rampant corruption. Because ‘times have changed’ and ‘the old guard is gone’, WWN’s lawyers have suggested we say something like “we’re in no way suggesting that such… Read more »