New Apple Update Lets You Save One Chinese Child Labour Victim Of Your Choice


IPHONE users are being incentivised to install the latest software update with the promise of being given the chance to spare one Chinese child from back breaking and unforgiving shifts on an Apple iPhone assembly line.

“Some people like their phone’s operating system the way it is and fear change, so we were wracking our brains about how to get them to click ‘update’,” confirmed Apple’s head of updates Kirlan Kwaanteg.

“Then it hit us, what a fun little reward it would be. So when you go to update you’ll get to choose from a series of photos and voila new update, child removed from the labour grind,” Kwaanteg added.

Allegations of workers forced to work 100 hours of overtime in China, breaking labour laws in the country remain refuted by Apple, so for keeping up appearances sake the child saved in this instance could be working for any third party company hired by any tech giant.

Apple users will have their memory wiped as part of the system update as part of plans to reduce the number of people looking up news reports on the conditions at China’s Foxconn factory, the largest iPhone factory in the world.

“We’re always looking to push the envelope and break new ground and we think this iOS does just that but even if it didn’t, our customers we just lie to themselves and say it’s the greatest innovation ever carried out in the history of humanity,” concluded Kwaanteg.