On This Day 2045: Enoch Burke Leaves Mountjoy Prison


FINALLY after 23 years of refusing to obey a court order to stay away from his place of employment, jailed teacher Enoch Burke has finally been released from Mounjoy prison, WWN reports.

Burke, whose employer sought an injunction against him after he continued turning up at school despite being suspended, was collected from prison by his family members on horse and cart as paparazzi on hover bikes flanked the Burkes as they made their way West to the Republic of Roscommon, a right-wing Christian State which broke away from Ireland in 2032 in a brutal civil war led by Roscommon President and cult leader, Ronan Mullan.

“Sure, he was only released because the school was demolished to make way for a direct provision centre for Brexit refugees, but it’s still a win in my eyes,” Mullan told his handful of loyal followers, all dressed in long formless shawls to subdue any sexual desires.

Taoiseach Panti Bliss welcomed Burke’s release from the now state of the art prison, as the counselling sessions required for prisoners forced to listen to Burke had reached a cost of 1 billion doge coins.

“Obviously there’s no saving some people, but we wish him all the best regardless,” Bliss stated.

In other news, Kingdom Of Kerry leader Jackie Healy-Rae threatened more nuclear testing along the Cork/Kerry border.