Local Mother Treated For Christmas Ornament Addiction
WITH the purchase of her sixth different variation of a cuddly toy animal dressed as Santa Claus in the space of two days, local mother Catríona O’Minnan is now getting help for her novelty Christmas ornament addiction.
“I’d be making up excuses all the time to drive into town like ‘oh the car misses town’ or ‘sure I have to pick your sister’ even though I only have sons, all so I could nip into the shops to buy any old tatty Christmas themed shite,” said O’Minnan through tears at her first Christmas Ornamentoholics meeting.
Confronted by her husband and sons over her 3,107-strong ornament collection which cost somewhere in the region of a new build semi-D in Dublin, O’Minnan finally admitted she had a problem and would seek help.
“It’s not just the ornaments,” explained husband Gerard. “The odd tea coaster or ‘Lapland’ sign I can handle but we’re talking two dozen different snow globes above the fireplace. I love her but she’s ill, it’s a disease”.
O’Minnan is believed to be just one of 400,000 Irish mothers with a similar uncontrollable compulsion to seek out and purchase trinkets to go alongside the dozens of trinkets from last year which compliment the hundreds from the previous decades.
‘Christmas trinket blindness’ also sees those affected unable to recall purchasing novelty Christmas items and when confronted over the purchases a mother will simply say “well sure, I can just give it to my sister or the neighbours as a present” while pointing to a satellite dish in the shape of Santa’s sleigh.
“Sure it was 2 for €60, be rude not to,” O’Minnan told her fellow addicts of Christmas hat shaped covers for lawn mowers she doesn’t actually have, paid for with her third Credit Union loan of the Christmas such is the out of control nature of her spending.