Ticketmaster CEO Charges Own Children Christmas Present Handling Fee


THE CEO of Ticketmaster parent company Live Nation, Michael Rapino delivered on all fronts this Christmas, ticking off every item on his kids Santa lists but his children have voiced their annoyance at the number of hidden fees and charges.

“The fuck is this Dad? I get a PS5 but I owe you $200 dollars in fees,” queried one child, who was under the mistaken belief that the total price of receiving a gift is zero dollars.

Rapino explained that when a present wrapping charge, storage fee and one-time only gift acceptance processing fee are taken into account, there are admittedly some small charges.

“I know you probably think the primary function of the Dad service is to provide a Christmas gift but Dad has his overheads,” Rapino added, charging an additional $5 due to the existence of a question processing fee.

Explaining to his kids that hiding the gifts from them in the garage under a sheet doesn’t come cheap, Rapino defended the sudden surprise presence of a present hiding fee appearing once his children clicked ‘checkout’ on his website.

“Well at least we have an answer to the question what kind of monster could possibly justify so many additional Ticketmaster fees,” said reluctant Ticketmaster customers everywhere.