BBQ’s Forecast “Any Fucking Day Now”

A Met Eireann spokesperson suggested that even if the good weather doesn’t continue Irish people will nevertheless attempt to have BBQs anyway. “Well, there’s the famous Irish BBQ game, of course,” explained a grey, shuffling, Met Eireann spokesperson. “This specifically Irish trait, known as the “I lived under a grey blanket of drudgery for the… Read more »

‘Male’ Order Bride Customer In For Surprise

WWN has learned of a hilarious mix up involving an Irish man and a mail order bride service on the internet. In an incident described by some as simply ‘laugh out loud’, Cork man Richard O’Malley got more than he bargained for after using the website. “It seems obvious now, a simple error on… Read more »

Big Macs Safe To Eat Today Due To Low Meat Content

CATHOLICS adhering to the fasting and abstinence rules of Good Friday were issued a reprieve today, after the Vatican issued a statement declaring that McDonalds burgers were still on the menu due to their low meat content. “We listen to the prayers and opinions of our flock every year” said Spanish cleric Monsignor ‘Special’ Francis… Read more »

Ukraine ‘All Better Now’ As Warring Factions Split Gas And Oil Profits Amongst Themselves

UKRAINE is “all better” today after a surprise deal was met by the US,EU and Russia over gas and oil profits which run directly through the gateway state. The announcement comes just weeks after civil unrest ousted the country’s premiere Viktor Yanukovich from office in a media fueled standoff between pro-European and pro-Russian sympathisers. It… Read more »

Calls For Death Penalty To Be Temporarily Reintroduced For Anglo Banker Sentencing

THE NATION has called on the government today to temporarily reintroduce the death penalty for the sentencing of convicted Anglo Irish bankers Pat Whelan and William McAteer. Yesterday the two former directors of Anglo Irish Bank were found guilty of hatching a multi-million euro loans-for-shares plot months before the bank’s collapse, crippling the entire nation… Read more »