HUNDREDS of thousands of men, women and children have taken to the streets today to celebrate an end to Irish criminality after Gardai found €120k of cannabis during a search of a car in Naas. The knock on effect is expected to cripple Ireland’s criminal empires for good, saving countless lives and billions of euros… Read more »
GARDAÍ have issued an updated set of rules for motorists in an attempt to clear up what actions are legal to perform when behind the wheel of a car. A recent crackdown on mobile phone usage had caused confusion as to what road users were and were not allowed to do while driving, by taking… Read more »
IN YET another embarrassing incident for God Almighty, he has been forced to admit he no longer remembers what exactly it is he had planned for humanity. God, who has been making the headlines steadily over several millennia, made the confession when contacted by 84-year-old pensioner Noreen Kinlan via prayer. Breaking from his usual tradition… Read more »
With local and European elections taking place on the 23rd of May this year, political advisers to Fianna Fáil are finally seeing their election strategy playing out in public. It is expected by most in the party that the local elections could see positive results. However, they are aware the public still harbours much hatred… Read more »
The debut press conference of interim Manchester United manager Ryan Giggs turned up few surprises, but the reestablishment of a women’s team certainly came out of the blue. “I’m as surprised as you, but he made a compelling case for the new team,” vice chairman Ed Woodward told WWN exclusively. “When Ryan was asked to… Read more »
Breaking news coming into us here at WWN involves one man’s effort to cut down on the amount of delicious pizzas he eats. Brian Fitzgerald, a Carrick-On-Suir native, had told friends recently, he was cutting out all ‘treat’ food in an effort to gain the sculpted figure of a ‘Rob Kearney type’. “I said to… Read more »
Political canvassers for the upcoming Local and European elections have issued a promise to deliver pamphlets and literature through the letterboxes of every house in Ireland, regardless of “No Junk Mail” stickers. Spokespersons from all parties have issued statements confirming that their door-to-door campaigners can both see the letterplate stickers and have the intellectual capacity to read… Read more »
THE GOVERNMENT announced today it is to privatise the oxygen in the air, forcing every home in the country to be fitted with meters by 2018. Under a new scheme to tackle air wastage, Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan confirmed the first roll out of the new meter to take place late next year,… Read more »
Minister for Education Ruairi Quinn responded to hecklers at the ASTI Teachers conference with an impromptu stand-up comedy routine, silencing the braying crowd with a succession of zingers. The minister had braved a cacophony of boos and jeers by teachers over controversial Junior Cert reforms due to start on a phased basis this year. At… Read more »
Lampposts up and down the country continue to be peppered with Ireland’s leading sycophants and sociopaths as the race for local and European elections really hot up. With just a month until ballots are cast by the electorate politicians are eagerly pounding the pavement and reluctantly talking directly to members of the public. “It is… Read more »
