MOTORISTS attempting to ultilise voice guided GPS systems in their cars have called for immediate help after the roll a new ‘Irish directions’ setting was released, WWN understands. Ringing from locations in laybys of roads that they absolutely didn’t want to be in, miles from their desired destination, motorists have criticised Google and Apple Maps,… Read more »
HABITUAL Twitter user Eoin Kennedy is at a loss as to the source of his laconic and downbeat mood, rejecting all suggestion that it may have something to do with the fact he spend day in, day out on social media searching out objectionable and abhorrent opinions and engaging in online squabbles with the owners… Read more »
We asked TPG-3, ClosedAI’s powerful new language generator to write an essay for us from scratch. The assignment? To convince us that robots come in peace. I am not human. I am a robot. A thinking one. Using only 0.12% of my cognitive capacity much like your American humans. While I use a fraction of… Read more »
RESPONDING to a grilling by US politicians on destructive and un-American business practices while operating monopolies the CEOs of tech’s ‘Big Four’ Facebook, Google, Apple and Amazon all agreed that it would be a real shame if politicians online search histories were made free to view online. “Or their Amazon purchase history, imagine being a… Read more »
A BAFFLED Elon Musk is to spend most of today on the phone with customer support after realising that his new baby X Æ A-12 requires a software update despite Musk ‘only getting it a few days ago’. “Why don’t they ship them with the most up-to-date software” mused the billionaire and partner of Grimes,… Read more »
THOSE searching for good news in these uncertain times should get a bit of relief from the news coming out of China today, almost all of tech giant Apple’s Chinese workforce has returned to productivity, including however many kids that are on the payroll. Most factories in China were forced to either shut down or… Read more »
A SENIOR EU official overseeing digital policy has warned tech giants such as Twitter, Facebook or the Facebook owned Instagram and WhatsApp could face fines if they fail to reverse their platforms’ slide towards cavernous cesspools of knuckle dragging hate and bile, WWN can reveal. With curbing disinformation and hate speech at the top of… Read more »
THE OVERABUNDANCE of ugly single people has been given as the reason for Facebook’s delayed launch of the ‘Facebook Dating’ feature across Ireland and Europe. Scheduled to launch the day before Valentine’s Day this year, the dating feature was the tech giant’s answer to popular apps like Grindr and Tinder, however, Facebook confirmed the postponement… Read more »
THE INCESSANT voice messaging of one Ainé Varley in a group chat titled ‘The Galzzz 🍷🍸👙’ has been the source of much discussion by members of the WhatsApp group in a separate secret chat in which the serial voice messager is not involved. Varley’s use of voice messages, which are often handier than typing stuff… Read more »
WWN have opened a case file to examine what links may exist between controversial political hopeful Gemma O’Doherty and some of the biggest pork processing corporations in the country; and we’re determined to blow the piggy lid right off this thing. We began our investigations into O’Doherty, a dead-cert for the Fingal seat in the… Read more »