Category: Football

What Chelsea Can & Can’t Do Under Sanctions

THERE HAS been confusion and questions in the wake of the UK government sanctioning Putin pal Roman Abramovich, requisitioning Chelsea football club. How do these sanctions affect Chelsea, can they still function as a club and will this put them on the path to bankruptcy? Find out just what Chelsea FC can and can’t do… Read more »

FIFA To Donate Footballs To Drowning Refugees

HEAD OF FIFA Gianni Infantino has profusely apologised for suggesting that staging a World Cup every two years, instead of every fours years, could be the key to ending the horror of refugees drowning at sea and has pledged to provide them with some footballs. “We can probably only manage 20 footballs, we’re not made… Read more »

“He’s The Godfather Of Gegenpressing” Says Man United Supporter Who Only Heard Of Rangnick 72 Hours Ago

SPEAKING with absolute authority on a man he had never heard of 72 hours ago, local Manchester United supporter Dave Hanelly can’t stop waxing lyrical about the genius of Ralf Rangnick, WWN can reveal. Confident he has learned Rangnick’s Wikipedia entry off by heart, Hanelly has scoffed at other United fans who confessed to not… Read more »

“We’ve Nothing To Hide” Confirms Qatar World Cup Officials Draping Covers Over Dead Construction Worker

SPREADING out their arms and legs as much as possible to obscure the view of anyone who happens upon the scene, Qatari World Cup 2022 officials have stressed once again that there are zero human rights issues experienced by migrant workers after some minors reforms. Fresh from arresting and releasing two Norwegian journalists for ‘trespassing’,… Read more »