Category: Football

Deranged Delaney Launches ‘Provisional FAI’

APPARENTLY not reacting well to the news that Jonathan Hill has been named the new, permanent CEO of the FAI, a man, who is clearly John Delaney wearing a balaclava and delivering an official statement in a poorly decorated spare room, has announced the formation of the ‘Provisional FAI’. “We in the Provisional FAI cannot… Read more »

COYBIG Downgraded To CO,YBIG

THE acronym commonly associated with the Irish soccer team is to be re-worked a little in light of another soul-sapping defeat, going from an exuberant expression of joy to a plea for something… just something, anything.’ “So we’re migrating from ‘Come on you boys in green’ to something more along the lines of ‘Come on,… Read more »

Liverpool Make Stunning Return To Form

ANY remaining fear that Liverpool would continue their troubling streak of victories was put to bed at the weekend as the Merseyside mid-tablers got back on regular footing with a 7-2 trouncing from Aston Villa. Liverpool had given fans and pundits cause for concern over the last number of years with a slew of out-of-form… Read more »

VAR Given New Identity & Moved To Safe Location

FOLLOWING a number of high profile and controversial decisions in the latest round of Premier League fixtures, police, worried for the safety of VAR, have placed it in an undisclosed location and given it a new identity. With Jose Mourinho among other managers reportedly ordering a professional hit on the technology, VAR is now believed… Read more »