Fair’s Fair: Rubiales Offers To Let Hermoso Kiss Him Back So They Are Even

IN HIS latest effort to atone what some ‘fake feminists’ have called an unwanted kiss head of Spain’s football federation Luis Rubiables has sought to undue some of the damage that has come from his kissing of footballer Jennifer Hermoso at the World Cup final.

In an ‘eye for an eye’ type style of restorative justice Rubiales has said that World Cup winner Hermoso can kiss him on the lips so that the pair are ‘even’.

“It is only fair I come to know what it is like to be wronged, to have someone presume my face is theirs to do with what they want,” said Rubiales who promised not to enjoy the kiss, however long it may last.

“I will then allow Ms Hermoso to pressure me into agreeing that it was a welcome consent-filled expression of friendship and joy, allow her to pressure me into issuing a statement to say it was all cool,” added Rubiales, who is set to honoured with the John Delaney Brass Neck Award later this week.

Rubiales, the real victim in all this, has said he willing to subject himself to kiss after kiss or any other form of contrition that doesn’t result in him having to give up his €250,000 a year gig.

Such is the obvious error of judgement exercised by Rubiales, FIFA has even spoken out against him.

“It took us a week to speak on this but we draw the line at unwanted kissing of a woman which is worse on our scale on injustices than treating women, immigrants and LGBT people as second class citizens,” confirmed FIFA president Gianni Infantino.

Elsewhere in football, Liverpool’s Darwin Nunez has been invited to his nearest Saudi Arabian embassy after scoring two goals against Newcastle at the weekend.