Tag: trump

“I Want To Murder & Dismember Journalists Too”

A VISIBLY SULKING US President Donald Trump has bemoaned his misfortune at not being allowed to murder and dismember journalists like King Salman of Saudi Arabia is. “It’s so not fair,” the President insisted, throwing a strop in the Oval Office, clearly jealous of how the Saudi royal family is free to murder journalists for… Read more »

World Begs Stormy Daniels To Stay Quiet

ADULT actress and former Donald Trump sex partner Stormy Daniels has been implored to keep further details of her affair with the president to herself, following her disturbing revelations about the size and shape of Trump’s penis. Daniels is currently revealing excerpts from her upcoming tell-all book about her tryst with Trump, including the fact that his erect… Read more »

Trump & Putin Recouple On Love Island

A STUNNING twist in popular dating reality TV show Love Island has seen two contestants choosing to recouple with one another, shocking millions of viewers who watched on in the grips of a befuddling horror as the process took place live on TV. The recoupling process sees contestants choose who they most see a lasting… Read more »

First Evidence Of Pigs Flying Found In London

THE WORLD has become enraptured by the stunning sight of what is believed to be the first pig in existence to ever achieve flight independent of mechanical means, WWN can reveal. Crowds gathered in London as news spread that a magnificently ignorant beast has taken to the skies, and somehow discovering a way to become… Read more »

Prototype For New American Flag Unveiled

THE WHITE HOUSE has, on this the day of America’s 242nd year of independence, unveiled a new updated flag which better reflects the nation in its present form, signalling the aspirations it has for its ever bright future. “Nobody likes change, but we remind people the old flag didn’t always have 50 stars on it,… Read more »

Barron Trump Detained After Mother Found To Have Lied On Visa Application

BARRON TRUMP has fallen foul of his father’s zero tolerance stance of immigration after consistent questions over Barron’s mother’s visa history revealed she had lied on an earlier application before becoming a citizen thus rendering her citizenship void. Immigration officials first became suspicious after Barron’s mother Melania visited a detention facility yesterday in Texas, her… Read more »

Public Really Expected More From Loudmouth Racist Bitch

OUTSPOKEN racist and noted Trump-supporting bigot Roseanne Barr really let herself down yesterday with a stream of nonsensical rambling tweets that caused the ABC network to cancel her ratings-powerhouse show, much to the disappointment of everyone who knew her as a kind, soft-spoken soul with nothing but love in her heart for all God’s children…. Read more »