IDF Have Perfectly Innocent Explanation For Mass Grave At Gaza Hospital

AS A mass grave containing 283 bodies has been uncovered on the grounds of the Nasser hospital in southern Gaza, abandoned by Israeli forces after besieging, raiding and occupying the medical facility, the IDF has been readying a timely and innocent explanation.

“Remind me, which mass grave is this again, and at which hospital? Hard to keep track of these things,” an IDF spokesman said, urging bothersome journalists to be more specific.

“Did we already use the ‘UNRWA workers participated in Oct 7th’ line? We did, oh okay. And an independent review led by the former French foreign minister Catherine Colonna into that claim said we provided zero evidence to prove this? Er, okay, let me see, what distraction tactic have we got here,” added the spokesperson rummaging through a handwritten list labeled ‘false equivocations, straw man arguments, accuse someone of being antisemitic’.

“A ha, I’ve got it! I can’t believe Israel has been slandered like this – you see, this mass grave was dug by the Palestinians themselves, before we ever raided and occupied it, it’s 100% provable the mass grave is there because locals had to bury people due to all the killing the IDF was doing. But fake news would have you believe we dug the grave, shame on you” concluded the spokesperson, ascending to the high moral ground and declaring the IDF’s long history of unimpeachable honour remains in tact.

UPDATE: The media is due to hear another IDF spokesperson provide a perfectly innocent explanation for an Israeli airstrike which hit two houses in Raffah, killing 19 people and saw rescuers recover a dying pregnant woman from the rubble and delivering her child via C-section before the mother died.