Raid On Trump’s Home Obviously Some Kind Of Misunderstanding
FOLLOWING the unprecedented scenes of FBI agents executing a search warrant on the Mar-a-Lago home of former US president Donald Trump, those who know the law abiding model citizen best insist this must be one of greatest misunderstandings of all time.
“Ok, name one time he could have possible done something that would draw the attention of authorities or that you could qualify as ‘shady as shit’. Okay other than those 437 examples, name another. See you can’t,” said one Trump supporter outside the gates of the property.
“It is truly a sad day for American democracy when a former president can’t just routinely break the law, attempt a coup and encourage his cult of followers to do the same and worse,” added a Trump source, who could barely be heard over the audible shredding of documents and recording of intimidating voicemails to witnesses.
Casual observers used news of the raid to confirm their long held suspicion that yes, Donald Trump is absolutely stupid enough to keep evidence of law breaking in his own home.
“We didn’t even know about his secret safe in which he keeps all evidence of his crimes until he said ‘please don’t look in my crime safe’,” said one FBI agent on the scene.
Speaking in the wake of the FBI search Trump explained the circumstances in full.
“The FBI probably got mixed up and were looking Epstein’s old place which is, off the top of my head, a 5 minute 1.6 mile drive from here,” explained Trump.
“No, that’s not it. I remember now – I left my MAGA hat in a nearby restaurant, and 18 cars full of armed FBI agents were kind enough to knock on my door without advanced warning to return it. They also gifted me with a certificate for being the best law follower in America, I am honoured,” explained Trump.
“As I sign of my innocence I am now asking all my gun owning supporters to ensure nothing like this happens again, thank you”.