Idiot Impeached For Withholding Military Aid From Ukraine Says He Would Have Stopped Putin

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A MONUMENTAL idiot with a desiccated turd for a brain has declared that he would have prevented Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine.

The pea-brained room-temperature-IQ-wielding-wart said this with words from his own mouth despite the fact that he was impeached for threatening to withhold vital military aid to Ukraine until its president agreed to launch an investigation into completely false claims about Agent Orange’s political rival.

The gormless fool, whose complicated birth as a child saw him deprived of oxygen to the brain for his entire life, also stated that Putin’s invasion of Ukraine that he would have definitely stopped was also a ‘genius’ move.

A swamp-dwelling infected pustule on the side of a cancerous growth, the idiot is believed to have also called Ted Bundy’s murders ‘innovative’ and described Pol Pot’s genocide as ‘a smart population control measure’.

The demented walking advertisement for early onset dementia was genuinely confident of his diplomatic prowess despite being in the Guinness Book of Records as the only human being to fail at solving a single colour Rubik’s cube.

“His invading of Ukraine would not have happened on my watch, although I think we should do the same thing to Mexico,” uttered the Sistine Chapel of morons.

Possessing the intellectual fortitude of a boiled frog put through a meat grinder backwards, the imbecile continued talking in spite of the fact his chief achievement in diplomacy relating to Ukraine was to carry out an abuse of power so transparently corrupt it led to the first of his two impeachments.

“I know Putin very well, better than almost anybody,” continued McNuggets for brains, implicating himself with a statement that would be used against him years from now in some yet to be identified court.

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