AS IT WAS confirmed today that German chancellor Angela Merkel’s emails were hacked by Russian military intelligence (GRU), Russian authorities have come clean about the operation and the deadly cost paid by its operatives. “It started out like any of the other 23,456 hacking of governments around the world that we’ve done; it was successful…. Read more »
“FUCKERS just dropped dead” shrugged a spokesperson for the Russian government today, at a press conference outlining how 376 anti-Putin journalists, scholars and critics managed to contract Coronavirus and die within the space of 2 hours. The 376 deaths bring Russia’s total up to 377, with the state having previously recorded just one death out… Read more »
ANNOUNCING his intention to live forever and rule over Russia well into the 25th century, President Vladimir Putin has confirmed that he called a meeting yesterday with Russian PM Dmitri Medvedev and his government to inform them that they had voluntarily resigned. “We can confirm that we resigned willingly as part of a constitutional shake… Read more »
WITH near impeccable timing, Waterford native Ian Conleth and his wife Jean have welcomed their first child into the world right as it begins the final countdown to the war that will end it, WWN can reveal. The as-yet-unnamed baby boy was born this morning at 6.30am weighing 6lb 8oz, just as the early doors… Read more »
IN THE WAKE of the news that the World Anti-Doping Agency (Wada) has banned Russian from competing in a variety of high profile sporting events including the 2022 World Cup and the 2020 Olympics, Vladimir Putin has gone on record to offer his condolences in advance of all the unfortunate accidents that will befall Wada… Read more »
HOPES are fading that any survivors will be found from the wreckage of the airplane carrying rock group Rammstein, which was shot out of the air by Ukrainian separatists as the band flew over Russian and Ukrainian airspace on their ongoing tour. The heavy metal legends were last in the area for a Moscow concert in… Read more »
FOLLOWING the revelation that vocal anti-Vladimir Putin campaigner Aleksy Navalny is being treated for what doctors are referring to as a ‘reaction to a chemical substance’, journalists around the world have rushed to condemn the Kremlin for what they see as a blatant attack on free speech and justice, orchestrated and overseen by Putin himself. Not us… Read more »
RECLINING in a hot tub and wearing shades, Russian leader Vladimir Putin took a well earned break from further sowing the seeds of discontent and divisiveness throughout Western democracies and finally administered some ‘self care’ by taking a well earned day off. “This…is the life,” Putin said to himself, basking in afterglow of his latest… Read more »
A BELUGA whale spotted off the coast of Norway has denied claims that is an agent for the Russian government, insisting that it was only visiting the region to ‘see Fjords and shit’. Norwegian fishermen were the first to spot the animal in the waters around Norway’s coastal waters, and were perplexed to find that… Read more »
THE American people have come forward after the seemingly inconclusive Mueller Report into interference from the Russian government in the 2016 election to stress that they didn’t need Moscow to tell them that Donald Trump was their man, they’re ‘plenty stupid enough on their own’. Based on the a summary by Attorney General Bill Barr, the long-awaited Mueller Report seems… Read more »