MIRRORING the fate of his former dictator peers, renewed calls have been made from the world to just skip to the part when a scruffy, gaunt faced Vladimir Putin is dragged from a Russian hiding hole and dealt with in the usual fashion, WWN can confirm. “It’s probably best avoid all the in-between death and… Read more »
IN RESPONSE to Boris Johnson controversially comparing Ukrainians fighting back against the Russia invasion of their country to Britain voting to leave the EU, people with working brains and rudimentary understanding of the world have been quick to help the British PM understand that the comparison doesn’t quite fit. “Brexit would be more like if… Read more »
CHINA is being asked to take bolstering a madman with ‘one true race’ ideation off the menu and refrain from doing ‘a complete Mussolini’, WWN has confirmed. “That guy next door may seem fun and cute and that you have lots in common, but it’ll all end in tears,” leading historians and overbearing mothers insisted,… Read more »
FRESH from continuing to donate Russian military tanks and trucks to Ukrainian farmers, Vladimir Putin has sought the help of Siri in an attempt to bail himself out of his scattershot invasion which has seen little ground gained. “Hey Siri, what’s Chinese for ‘I’ve fucked up, tanked my economy and it’s only a matter of… Read more »
THERE HAS been confusion and questions in the wake of the UK government sanctioning Putin pal Roman Abramovich, requisitioning Chelsea football club. How do these sanctions affect Chelsea, can they still function as a club and will this put them on the path to bankruptcy? Find out just what Chelsea FC can and can’t do… Read more »
SEEN AS a direct retaliation to attempts by Dublin councillors to rename the road outside the Russian Embassy Independent Ukraine Road, workers in Moscow were seen erecting new streets signs in the early hours of this morning. “5 Charles Trevelyan Road has always been home to the Irish embassy, it was never 5 Grokholski Pereulok,”… Read more »
RED-FACED Red Square officials are kicking themselves after their so-called ‘de-nazification’ of Ukraine accidentally spiraled into pre-planned war crimes and further escalation which would not unreasonably invite comparisons to an actual Nazi regime with a love for inhumanity, WWN can confirm. Embarrassed Kremlin officials are now broaching difficult subjects with their leader Vladimir Putin, for… Read more »
TESTING its forehead for signs of a temperature, the world stood back in awe of America’s newfound disinterest in direct military conflict before asking the Leaders of The Free World™ if they were feeling okay. Despite constantly falling over itself to supply tens of billions of dollars to questionable regimes with aims to decimate so-called… Read more »
BY NOW everyone will be aware of the tragedy that unfolded at the entrance to the Russian Embassy in Dublin where a set of gates tragically lost its hinges. Relying on Irish people’s famous generosity the Russian Ambassador has demanded the taxpayer coughs up for repairs, a demand Irish people are happy to acquiesce to… Read more »
OMNI CONSUMER PRODUCTS is the latest business and brand to pull its activity from Russia in protest at Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine and his military’s unfolding war crimes. OCP joins a growing list of major brands to say ‘enough is enough’ including those who have made headlines previously for tax evasion, slave labour and… Read more »