Tag: instant

Knowing Which Useless Opposition Party Is Right For You

HAVE you lost all faith in the mighty Fine Gael led minority government or have you been wise to their underhanded, under-performing and over-promising ways since the very start? Either way you’re probably in the market for a new party to reluctantly vote for when it comes time for feeling completely disenfranchised again at the… Read more »

Trump Secures Funding For US-Mexico Hedge

US President Donald Trump has finally secured funding for his long-promised border hedge with Mexico, after securing almost $1.4bn from congress. The agreement is set to avert a further shuttering of government services, following a month on shutdown at the start of the year as both sides of the house stood their ground on the… Read more »

Nation’s Teachers Begin Getting Pupils To Make Strike Signs In Art Class

TEACHERS up and down the country have insisted on a brand new arts and crafts curriculum for pupils which involves making thousands of wooden and cardboard ‘strike signs’ for no apparent reason whatsoever, WWN has learned. Upon arriving at the nation’s schools this morning, parents of children were told that all normal classes have been postponed in favour… Read more »

Royals To Recast Meghan Markle

THE Royal Family have dramatically revealed plans to recast the role of Duchess Of Sussex, after the current choice of Meghan Markle tested poorly with audiences. Although the American actress has spent less than a year in the role of Prince Harry’s wife, she has failed to ‘nail’ the role of an English rose and… Read more »

Are Your Parents Safe Online?

KIDS! Do you know what your parents are up to when they go online? A startling new study shows that almost 100% of parents are exposing themselves to fake news, spam articles, endless clickbait holes and arguments with Russian spambots every time they surf the information superhighway… often to disastrous effects. Concerned? You should be…. Read more »

Arsehole Customer ‘Knows The Owner’

“Is Barry on tonight?” began middle aged customer Margaret Caulfield, who spent her first three minutes frantically looking for attention in the busy Waterford city restaurant. “Barry’s usually on Friday nights. Is he off?” Immediately discerning the woman’s particular customer persona as one they were reluctantly well versed in, staff at ‘The Coddle Pot’ drew plastic straws… Read more »

Nathan Carter Robbed At Grammys

THERE was widespread shock and dismay among the culchie community in Ireland today, after Country star Nathan Carter was sensationally snubbed at the 61st Grammy Awards ceremony last night. Carter, who was not nominated for any awards whatsoever, was seen by many in the Midlands and south of Ireland as a ‘dead cert’ for a gong… Read more »