Tag: instant

Girlfriend’s Haircut Cost €80, Somehow

LOCAL man Kenneth Guiney has expressed utter disbelief as to how his girlfriend’s haircut cost eighty euro, especially as it now looks just as long as it did this morning. Jennifer O’Lennon headed to get her hair done in town this morning at 11, before arriving back to the Tramore apartment she shares with Guiney… Read more »

​BREAKING: Limerick Man Swears He Didn’t Invite Facebook Friend To Messenger There

A LIMERICK city man has denied any accountability after a conversation with one of his Facebook friends ended with an impromptu invite to the social network’s messenger phone application. According to the Facebook message, James Tobin, (52), who lives on the Ballysimon road, allegedly invited long-time friend Denis Carberry to the chat, despite it being… Read more »

“UCD Student Union Vote Is An Orgy Of Sin!”

In his regular column, Bishop Cornelius Byle, WWN’s resident priest and conscience expert, explains why anyone who dares vote in a UCD Student Union vote might as well change their name to ‘baby killer’. Good after morning to you all and welcome to my column. I must start off with an apology as in my… Read more »

Having A Full Tattoo Sleeve To Be Mandatory By 2022

CITING the continued trend towards covering every inch of one’s arms in ink, a government decree has lead to the phasing out of non-inked arms by 2022, in a bid to cut the disconcerting practice of not having 100 tattoos. A clear and undeniable statement of one’s individuality and unique character; bare arms have increasingly… Read more »