Tag: instant

FAI Fined €5m After Republic Of Ireland Score Twice

THE FAI is to appeal a €5m UEFA fine following last night’s Euro 2020 qualifier which saw Ireland win by more goals than they’re legally allowed to, WWN can confirm. As stipulated in an age-old ruling, the Republic Of Ireland are only permitted to partake in scoreless draws or hard-fought one-nil victories, on top of being allowed to lose by… Read more »

Vatican Reveals New Changes To The Lord’s Prayer

KNOWN worldwide as ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ and one of the Catholic Church’s best-loved prayers, the Our Father was officially changed last week following a decision by Pope Francis, who insisted that the original prayer did not fit into modern times. The pope said he thought the English translation of the prayer was not up to politically correct standards, with the… Read more »

Rockall: Scotland Launch Tennents Airstrike On Ireland

TENSIONS between Scotland and the Republic Of Ireland have escalated in the past 24 hours following a dawn assault on the east coast of Ireland which saw hundreds of innocent people injured by flying cans of empty Tennents. Inter-country ballistic tinnies rained down on the country as far south as Dundalk this morning, with Ireland having no… Read more »

Where Are They Now: John Sample

HE was the stand-up guy that all the parents loved; the straight-shooting young lad beloved by law-abiding bartenders and off-licensers alike… but whatever happened to John Sample, the first Irish teenager to ever receive a Garda Age Card? Born on the 27th January 1989, John Sample made a name for himself as a bastion of… Read more »

WWN’s Weekend Sport Recap

IT WAS an action packed weekend full of sporting intrigue with plenty of errors and mistakes, allowing mere mortals the opportunity to abuse multi-millionaires in order to feel better about themselves which at the end of the day is what sport’s all about. WWN Sport has it all covered below: Ronaldo’s muted celebrations after lifting… Read more »

Goody Fucking Two Shoes Doesn’t Do Coke

A COUNTY Waterford man who refused to try even a teeny weeny line of cocaine at a friend’s house party has been branded a goody two shoes by peers who insisted he should head off for a nice long run for himself if he’s going to be like that. Brian Noonan, who was probably the teacher’s pet… Read more »