150 Ukrainians To Be Housed In Croke Park And Boy Does Your Dad Have Thoughts On It


PEOPLE across the nation are currently living in dread of their next visit home to see their opinionated parents, following news that 150 Ukrainian refugees are to be temporarily housed in Croke Park over the next two weeks.

“There’s absolutely no chance I visit mam and dad at the weekend and not have to sit through an hour of horseshit about why aren’t we housing our own homeless people in Thomond,” sighed one Waterford man we spoke to after the news broke.

“Of course if we were housing our own homeless people in a sports stadium, he’d want to know how many of them were unmarried mothers, and how many of them were drug addicts and so on… but time has shown me one thing, and that’s the fact that there’s zero point in arguing with the man. He’s 80 so there’s only so much longer I’ll have to listen to this kind of craic”.

Meanwhile Croke Park is steeling itself for the largest protests outside its gates since the first time Garth Brooks proposed five nights in a row.

Elsewhere, the offices of popular news website TheJournal.ie were evacuated earlier today, after a post about the Croke Park situation generated so many comments that the outlet’s web servers went ‘full Chernobyl’ and melted through four stories of the building.