LAST DITCH negotiations over attempts to prevent a two-way UK-Ireland meat product ban and warnings to Irish SMEs to prepare for impact have all the hallmarks of that moment in a thriller when a bomb disposal expert is tasked with diffusing a bomb as the seconds tick down toward zero. Leaving the ‘hands in pockets,… Read more »
GENEROUS British PM Boris Johnson will stop at nothing in his attempt to deflect attention away from an inquiry which concluded his Home Secretary, Priti Patel, bullied civil servants, subjecting them to volleys of abuse and is basically Nelson Muntz on steroids. “We can all have Christmas together in Wembley stadium, Ed Sheeran will play,… Read more »
EXHAUSTED publicans across the country have today called on the national media, its readers, government, and any other prick who uses the term, to stop calling their premises ‘wet pubs’, stating it should now be classed as a derogatory term, urging users of the name to cop on for Christ’s sakes, WWN was also told…. Read more »
“NOT a mask among them” confirmed Waterford mother-of-two Ciara Meeghan, after returning from a walk this morning in which she encountered up to 6 people in a nearby park, some of whom actually spoke to each other. “We’ll be locked up for years at this rate” muttered Meeghan, updating her Facebook status to inform her… Read more »
CAVAN native Maurice Devane is said to be over the moon with his county’s first Ulster title since 1997 but even more ecstatic that the unprecedented victory happened during a pandemic thus removing the prospect he’d have to pay for a ticket to the semi-final. “I could have gotten a lift to the game off… Read more »
EAGER 38-year-old gaming fan Charles Marrington has made certain to snag himself a Playstation 5 console before some pesky parents looking for one for their kids could buy them all, admitting he thought the sleek new purchase would bring him some sort of momentary pause from the loneliness that is his life, maybe even some… Read more »
THANKS to the latest development in microscopic technology WWN has been shrunken down to a miniscule size with a mission to travel into what’s left of Rudy Giuliani’s mind and figure out just what in the hell is going on in there. Giuliani, former mayor of New York and famed prosecutor of the mafia, has… Read more »
THE DELIVERY of a one-off €250 payment to Irish students has already run into significant administrative delays after the government mentioned a last minute change to the terms and conditions. “We’re not aiming to make this anymore complicated than it doesn’t need to be, but just make a blood oath to vote for us in… Read more »
“Here we go again,” confirmed Englishman Terry Smith after accidentally stumbling on an article about the GAA’s Bloody Sunday commemorations after getting lost on an Irish sports site. “I was only on here to comment angrily under an article about Stephen Kenny dressing as Gerry Adams and beheading the Queen in a video to gee… Read more »
In the latest installment of our WWN Voices series we give a platform to people we really shouldn’t. This week, it’s the turn of man who could spend his time so much more constructively, Alan McKinley, who believes the whole concept of Christmas is over if that word is bleeped out on the radio. “If… Read more »