FACING A precarious financial crisis which could result in the full permanent closure of Dublin Zoo, officials at the zoo have turned to locals to help house and feed the animals until the necessary funding is found. “We haven’t been paid in months and now I’ve t’live with this moldy prick who hogs the remote… Read more »
SAMSUNG product developers have been praised for achieving what is being called the next step in the evolution of TV technology. Exclusive to the Irish market for now, pending successful trials, a range of Smart Arse TVs will offer TV viewers the chance to experience remarkable and unrivaled HD displays, internet connectivity and a range… Read more »
ACCUSED of all manner of sins ranging from airbrushing history to inserting salacious fiction into Royal relationships, season 4 of The Crown has proven as controversial as it is popular. WWN run the rule over what particularly controversial incidents from history were left out of series 4 which features depictions of Princess Diana and Margaret… Read more »
IN THE SUREST sign yet that the market for effective Covid-19 vaccines has become increasingly competitive, pharmaceutical producer Moderna have announced that not only is their mRNA vaccine 94.5% effective but it will also come with a free toy. “These arms aren’t going to prick themselves with vaccines, we need to entice people beyond just… Read more »
KATIE TAYLOR’S coaches are calling it the toughest and most demanding test of her career to date; adding enough bulk and mass so that lifting all her title belts doesn’t result in an instant buckling of her arms and shattering fatigue. “Mandatory defences, unifying divisions, pummeling the head of a Spaniard for ten rounds; it’s… Read more »
DUBLIN city couple Eamon and Catherine Faughton have taken to their now regular routine of heading out for an evening walk in the dark, a sight the surrounding community is all too familiar with on account of the fact the pair can be seen from the International Space Station. “The Faughtons are off out again,”… Read more »
A RECALL of the new Guinness 0.0 has been cancelled after it was discovered that the supposed microbiological contamination of the cans was actually implemented by design to ensure consumers get ‘the full Guinness experience’. “We wanted to bring the true rollercoaster ride that is a night on the black stuff to our customers with… Read more »
AS THE world picks up the pieces of whatever remains of Western democracy following the 4 year administration of Donald Trump, psychotherapists and psychiatrists alike have called on the emotionally shattered world to come together and cope with its ‘post-trumpmatic stress’ using this handy guide below: Normally, the first step to dealing with post-traumatic stress… Read more »
A NEW EU wide ‘traffic light system’ relating to flights is expected to not expected to affect rich arseholes in any demonstrable way as they continue to do what they want. “Oh, lol, no, the pandemic is for poor people, silly,” shared one woman who hit a new personal record high this year when it… Read more »
SPARKED by the unspeakably twee and diddly eye-ness of the newly released trailer for ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’ and the accents therein which are surely crimes against the Irish people, WWN has produced a definitive list of the most awful Irish accents to ever grace the screens of Hollywood movies: The Field? Do we all live… Read more »