THERE were disappointed faces among some senior western military and intelligence figures as the Sri Lankan people secured the resignation of president Gotabya Rajapaksa in such a swift fashion that western nations weren’t able to put a puppet regime in place. “We’re just asking that next time, you call us in advance so we can… Read more »
JUST AS Rishi Sunak was plotting a hometown celebration in New York to ring in his crowning a Tory leader and next British PM, a last minute front runner has emerged in the shape of board game baron and Monopoly man, Rich Uncle Pennybags. “Purely comparing between Rishi and Pennybags, it’s clear Pennybags edges it… Read more »
A FRESH round of voting in the Tory leadership contest see Rishi Sunak remaining top of the pile, but out of the remaining candidates who is best fit to lead the party and become Britain’s next PM? We rank the contenders. Rishi Sunak Former US green card holder until he got caught Rishi Sunak is… Read more »
DESPITE suffering a setback in the form of the High Court ruling the Mother and Baby Homes Commission treated survivors unlawfully, the government is confident that it has made the redress scheme sufficiently onerous and riven with inevitable delays that the State just needs to hold out for several more decades. “There’s the report itself… Read more »
EAMON Ryan has justified business class flights made by himself and members of his party by claiming that any impact on the climate is offset by the fact that the Green Party is full of energy efficient, 100% plastic-free, biodegradable and carbon-neutral horse shit. Members of the Green Party, including Ryan himself and deputy leader… Read more »
HAVING breezed through Sinn Féin’s 142nd attempt at passing a vote of no confidence in the coalition, the Micheál Martin fronted government celebrated by ramming through a planning bill which every single interested party that isn’t a money grabbing developer has labeled ‘a disaster’. “It just feels like the perfect way to say fuck you,”… Read more »
THE government have countered Sinn Féin’s vote of no confidence with a propsed Dáil vote that shows there are still a number of people in the country who ‘like they way they work it’, WWN can confirm. Sources close to the coalition confirmed the vote was inspired by the classic hit ‘No Diggity’, although everyone… Read more »
THE BUDGET has been brought forward by the coalition government with a number of measures to combat cost of living expenses being routinely leaked to the media. WWN has all the leaked budgetary measures which could prove vital in helping those most affected by the squeeze on household budgets: Refunds on golf club membership fees…. Read more »
DESPITE receiving a reprieve from the Director of Public Prosecutions yesterday, a wayward northside Dubliner has been warned for the last time to resist the urge to create trouble and difficulties for himself, WWN has learned. “Look it, ye got away with one there now with this DPP business. Ye don’t have to be making… Read more »
BORIS Johnson is said to be struggling with his retirement speech, expected today around lunchtime, with sources close to the outgoing PM admitting that Johnson is ‘baffled’ by what passes for a last straw around here these days. “It’s incredible to think that you can preside over a party that broke lockdown rules to have… Read more »