Monopoly Man Emerges As Last Minute Front Runner For Tory Leadership
JUST AS Rishi Sunak was plotting a hometown celebration in New York to ring in his crowning a Tory leader and next British PM, a last minute front runner has emerged in the shape of board game baron and Monopoly man, Rich Uncle Pennybags.
“Purely comparing between Rishi and Pennybags, it’s clear Pennybags edges it in the common touch stakes,” said one Conservative MP who has recently switched allegiance to the top hat wielding mogul.
Those Tories stating their new preference for Pennybags have denied the man’s access to get out of jail free cards had anything to do with their decision.
“With a fortune of just £500mn he’s much less wealth than Sunak so when he says ‘one doth hath knowledge of a plethora of kinfolk from the Sodom and Gommorah council estates’ you know he’s being truthful whereas Rishi thinks slumming it is taking the smaller yacht to Monaco,” confirmed one political insider.
“You have to factor in too that Penneybags was born with a monocle on his eye AND a spoon in his mouth and us Tories can relate to that better than Rishi’s humble beginnings,” confirmed one MP, who felt Sunak’s impoverished family background of a GP and successful pharmacist made some Tories feel dirty.
In the latest polling among Britons 87% of respondents said they would vote for the Monopoly man as they would prefer that their amoral vacuum of a leader who takes a flamethrower to the most vulnerable in society wear a funny hat.