THE British Army has celebrated yet another victory over the people of Northern Ireland today, after a veteran soldier on trial for the murder of a mentally vulnerable young man, escaped with a ‘not guilty’ verdict by virtue of keeling over dead. “We always knew Dennis would be not be found guilty of this crime”… Read more »
THE NATION has confirmed it’s not too much to ask of the government, for once in its porous Swiss cheese leaking existence, to directly inform individuals, communities, businesses and healthcare professionals via official government channels of changes to restrictions in a timely manner rather than slyly drip feeding it out through the media. “We’ve given… Read more »
OFTEN making the news for ill-judged comments an envious Leo Varadkar wish he said privately in the Fine Gael WhatsApp, Owen Keegan is to Dubliners what his lookalike and ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ villain Judge Doom, was to the residents of Toontown. Taking Keegan’s recent sarcastic comments to the UCD Students Union that students should… Read more »
DOZENS of EU diplomats have taken up smoking and many more are said to have lapsed into alcoholism, as the British Brexit negotiators continues to hammer thorn after thorn into their side with no end in sight. “I never smoked in my life but I’m up to two packs a day now” puffed one German… Read more »
LAMENTING the fact Ireland possessing the world’s only 4th World health service is jeopardising an end to restrictions on the 22nd of October, the Taoiseach urged the 90% of the population that is vaccinated to blame those not vaccinated for decades of ineptitude and shameless neglect of the health service by politicians. “There is a… Read more »
WHILE nobody in the EU has come forward and condoned the Irish Republican Army’s campaign of bloody terror in Northern Ireland, leaks have suggested that many are starting to ‘see where they were coming from’, WWN can report. The memos come as the EU enters yet another crunch round of negotiations in the bitter Brexit… Read more »
IF you were a fan of the government blatantly trying to woo young voters away from left wing opposition parties then boy was this the budget for you! Free contraception for 17-25 year old women, a 50% reduction in transport fares, a 50 cent hike in minimum wage, changes to the USC, Paschal, Micheál, Leo… Read more »
IT’S here; the most exciting day of the year. Like Easter, Christmas, magic mushroom season and the Late Late Toy Show all rolled into one, WWN will be updating the budget as it happens below. Just refresh for new updates: – Donohoe begins Budget 2022 by quoting Lil Wayne’s ‘Money on My Mind’: “Money money… Read more »
THE government has urged college campuses around the country to organise charity-driven food banks on a weekly basis, to ensure that cash-strapped students never have to miss a rent payment. The statement comes after University College Cork announced that their food bank had been ‘cleaned out’ in less than an hour with many students left… Read more »
DESPITE failing to mention Northern Ireland at all during his 45 minute speech at the Tory Party conference, British PM Boris Johnson delighted his party faithful with a vacuous oration that was aided by the presence of a Universal Credit recipient suspended from the ceiling in a cage. “What an odious little creature,” Johnson said… Read more »