Everything You Need To Know About Taiwan/China Tensions


AN UNFOLDING crisis that threatens the entire world or regional posturing over territory which will soon fade? It’s hard to know but WWN’s experts bring you all the important background for you to understand the current Taiwan/China tensions.

Here’s everything you need to know:

At the end of the Chinese civil war, defeated nationalist government forces led by Chiang Kai-shek fled to Taiwan establishing what they called the true government of China.

Taiwan is one of the most densely populated countries in the world whereas America is the most dense.

Your current Wish.com order is safe. For now.

It’s believed that most people in the world wouldn’t mind if China did whatever it wanted, based on the reaction to the whole Uighur Muslim ‘re-education camp’ thing that you’ve no doubt heard about.

China has a population of 1.5bn people, and could ‘get along just fine’ with about half of that according to Beijing.

Nancy Pelosi reportedly accidentally spent a recent $108mn of military aid to Taiwan in the airport gift shop.

Most of the world’s electronic equipment from phones to laptops, watches and games consoles is powered by computer chips made in Taiwan. As a result China has been warned that if it does engage in a military offensive it risks incurring the wrath of Animal Crossing and Fortnite players everywhere.

China has confirmed that they are indeed the bad guys in Top Gun: Maverick.

All the people who think Russia is an innocent party in the Ukraine war have rushed to defend China so it couldn’t be clearer really that Taiwan is the aggressor in all this.

Only 13 countries recognise Taiwan’s sovereignty due to the fact China will fuck you up if you even try.

China called Pelosi visiting Taiwan an ‘invasion’ and called Russian’s invasion of Ukraine ‘404 Not Found’.

The US military is asking US citizens to fill in a lengthy survey which includes the question ‘if it comes to it, how many Chinese soldiers do you think you could take out?’

The people of Afghanistan, Iraq and dozens of other countries have praised the US for recognising Taiwan’s fundamental right not to be invaded by a larger nation with a colonial mindset.

Taiwan was the first Asian country to legalise same sex marriage – it’s like they want your conservative uncle to take China’s side in all this.

China has admitted that they’re taking a ‘suck it and see’ approach to the whole thing, observing closely how Russia ‘get on with things’ in Ukraine.

China has thanked US alt-right forums for their loyal support during these though times.

Coded messages about a ‘three in one on the way to Blanchardstown’ have risen fears that an air, sea and land assault may be about to take place in Dublin 15… or perhaps it’s just a takeaway delivery.