The Best Rumours To Spread About Your GAA Rivals
BE IT a rival teammate, selector, club or inter-county team no one does spreading unsubstantiated rumours like the GAA community.
Have you recently come into possession of a seething and unfounded contempt for a rival? Well, naturally you’ll be wanting to spread rumours about them sooner rather than later and you can’t beat the following for reputation damaging perfection:
“Someone on the panel is sleeping with the manager’s daughter”
If the manager or selectors have multiple daughters, brilliant. You can claim the whole panel is at it. Dirty dogs, the lot of them and don’t they have wives and girlfriends waiting for them at home. Disgrace.
“They’re on drugs”
Sure how else can you explain how they beat your team. Disgrace. And sure the central council are doing nothing about it.
“Worse, they’re on drugs that don’t enhance your performance on the pitch”
And sure the central council are doing nothing about it. I hear your man, their full forward… sniffing lines of cannabis morning noon and night. Can’t score a 45 without a bit of acid in him either.
“They’re being paid”
Trampling all over the amateur ethos of the GAA. Mileage is one thing, but they set himself up in the sponsor’s office pretending to work. And then sure aren’t they covering his rent.
“Well, sure you know they covered up all that business from when he was on his J1”
Less details the better, keep it nice and vague – let the imaginations of the 4,000 people you WhatsApp the made up allegations run wild with it.
“Was a promising soccer player”
Some frankly disgusting rumours should only be used as a last resort.