THANKS to the latest development in microscopic technology WWN has been shrunken down to a miniscule size with a mission to travel into what’s left of Rudy Giuliani’s mind and figure out just what in the hell is going on in there. Giuliani, former mayor of New York and famed prosecutor of the mafia, has… Read more »
FORMER Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy shocked the nation with his viewpoints on the current Covid-19 lockdown during Dáil proceedings yesterday, as many had no idea that he had not fled the country in absolute shame months ago. “Now when you say Eoghan Murphy, you surely don’t mean the Fine Gael lad, do you?” asked… Read more »
Gordan Ramsey here. I’ve seen some horriific meals in my time. I’ve traveled all around the world. Tasted the some of the best and worst food on the planet. Eaten in the worst shitholes, but never – I mean ever – witnessed the calibre of cooking I’ve just witnessed that’s provided in Irish asylum centres… Read more »
LOCAL all-rounder Colm McQuillan of McQuillan & Sons has ‘had a look’ at the ongoing National Children’s Hospital project and estimated that he’d be able to have the place up and running by January for about €56,000, no questions asked. “Ah yeah I can see what they’re at, stringing the money out of you” said… Read more »
WITH the paint still drying on the sound stage of the carefully constructed mock up of the West Wing of the White House, administration officials are all set to move outgoing president Donald Trump into a fake White House where it hopes it can maintain the illusion of him winning the election can be kept… Read more »
A GRASS-ROOTS movement to have Supreme Court Judge Seamus Woulfe released into the wilds of the midlands has unfortunately failed, leading to Woulfe possibly spending the rest of his working days in the captivity of a high-paying job, WWN can confirm. Posts reading ‘get Woulfe out’ had become a common sight on social media in… Read more »
SEXUAL feelings unstirred since the heyday of The X-Files have come roaring to the fore for thousands of men and women following the release of season 4 of The Crown, which includes everybody’s redhead crush of the mid-90s Gillian Anderson in the pivotal role of hated British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Although the casting and… Read more »
THE hits keep coming for Prime Minister Boris Johnson, after a weekend of woe that culminated in him sitting down to catch the results show of Strictly Come Dancing only to find that the blasted DVR cut off the last bit, leaving him unsure as to whether Maisie or Max got voted off. “Blast this… Read more »
OPERATION ‘Maybe It Was A Car Backfiring’ has been put into place by the Secret Service, in a bid to remain free of blame should anything happen to refusing-to-go president Donald Trump between now and inauguration day. With President 45 still angrily contesting the outcome of the recent election, security teams at the White House… Read more »
AS THE world picks up the pieces of whatever remains of Western democracy following the 4 year administration of Donald Trump, psychotherapists and psychiatrists alike have called on the emotionally shattered world to come together and cope with its ‘post-trumpmatic stress’ using this handy guide below: Normally, the first step to dealing with post-traumatic stress… Read more »