So Unlike Backstabbing Brits To Be Duplicitous, Underhanded & Dishonest

THE SHOCK among Irish people and citizens of other EU nations is still audibly reverberating across the continent as everyone attempts to come to terms with news of the British government attempting to unilaterally change the terms of the NI Protocol.

“I’m more shocked than Tarzan swinging off an electricity pylon. The Brits? Reneging on a deal? Breaking the law? No, sorry I refuse to believe it,” confessed one Irish person learning of a bill put before the UK parliament which seeks to override aspects of the protocol without consulting other parties who adhere to the agreement in its current form.

Accusations of belligerent law breaking, and a manifestly dishonest and disrespectful approach to the protocol weren’t helped by Foreign Secretary Liz Truss referring to Taoiseach Micheál Martin as ‘tea sock’ in a TV interview yesterday.

“That’s not on, is this all that Johnson fella’s doing? The what do you call him, Prime Spinster? Crime Minister? Sorry English isn’t my first language,” confirmed one Irish person, who was going to need a little more evidence before thinking the Britain of Cromwell, Trevelyan, Thatcher and Prince Andrew could stoop so uncharacteristically low.

“And this Liz Can’t Be Trusted woman, she and Bovril are doing it to ‘protect the Good Friday Agreement’ but really they’re undermining it at every turn while feeding their DUP lapdogs on jingoism jerky? I don’t know about that, I’m always found the Brits to be very reliable and up front,” confirmed a cross section of Bengalis, Mau Maus, Indians, Iraqis, Afghans and Pakistanis.

Elsewhere, incredulous Tory voting Britons have demanded anyone suggesting Boris Johnson could lie retract their remarks immediately or face being deported to Rwanda.