Tag: europe

Developers, Banks Tell Government They’ve Already Spent Ireland’s Share Of EU’s €1 Trillion Covid Recovery Fund

ADOPTING the ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission’ strategy that served them so well through the 2008-11 banking crisis years, the property developers and senior bankers of Ireland have preemptively informed the Irish government that whatever share of the announced €1 trillion Covid-19 EU recovery package Ireland gets has already been spunked on a nearby wall… Read more »

Ryanair To Refund Everyone In Pennies

RYANAIR chief Michael O’Leary is said to be determined to ‘have the last laugh’ when it comes to Covid-19 refunds, by vengefully sending out any owed monies to customers in the form of sackfuls of 1c and 2c coins. The coins will be couriered out to the waiting customers after an EU ruling that stated… Read more »

Social Media Sites Under Increasing Pressure Not To Be Such Deep Cesspools Of Unending Hate

A SENIOR EU official overseeing digital policy has warned tech giants such as Twitter, Facebook or the Facebook owned Instagram and WhatsApp could face fines if they fail to reverse their platforms’ slide towards cavernous cesspools of knuckle dragging hate and bile, WWN can reveal. With curbing disinformation and hate speech at the top of… Read more »

Hogan Burns Compromising Photos Of Enemies As Promised

“YEAH, I’m destroying them as we speak… relax, you made the right decision,” a calculating Phil Hogan told an unknown voice at the other end of the phone, while caressing an official document confirming his new promotion, “the one with the gimp mask too, yes, and the ball gag one, they’re all gone, I’ll do you all… Read more »

A Complete Collection Of European Stereotypes

WITH economic uncertainties, the rise of far right nationalism, the dawn of Brexit, and Putin’s meddling, the European Union has never looked better set up to disintegrate into nothing amid acrimony, bitterness and if we’re lucky minimal violence. So there has never been a better time to reacquaint yourself with reductive, unhelpful stereotypes that will… Read more »

Ireland Fucked, UK Fucked, The North Fucked, Everything Fucked

THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »