ADOPTING the ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission’ strategy that served them so well through the 2008-11 banking crisis years, the property developers and senior bankers of Ireland have preemptively informed the Irish government that whatever share of the announced €1 trillion Covid-19 EU recovery package Ireland gets has already been spunked on a nearby wall… Read more »
THE EU Commission has announced plans for a rescue and stimulus package worth approximately €1 trillion which will help aid the recovery of any member state that hasn’t voted to leave the EU in the last 5 years, WWN can confirm. “That’s right, if you’re a member of the EU then you’ll be getting your… Read more »
RYANAIR chief Michael O’Leary is said to be determined to ‘have the last laugh’ when it comes to Covid-19 refunds, by vengefully sending out any owed monies to customers in the form of sackfuls of 1c and 2c coins. The coins will be couriered out to the waiting customers after an EU ruling that stated… Read more »
IN a generous move, EU officials have confirmed that asylum seekers on Greek islands would be given financial incentives to move out of harms way to Northern Italy. The move, which will fund all travel and expenses for families and individuals hoping to enter the EU, will relieve pressure on overwhelmed refugee camps for the… Read more »
A SENIOR EU official overseeing digital policy has warned tech giants such as Twitter, Facebook or the Facebook owned Instagram and WhatsApp could face fines if they fail to reverse their platforms’ slide towards cavernous cesspools of knuckle dragging hate and bile, WWN can reveal. With curbing disinformation and hate speech at the top of… Read more »
WITH the passing of Brexit Day has come the first of a number of required measures being implemented by the EU, in accordance with Britain carrying to conclusion the Withdrawal Agreement, WWN can reveal. Large tankers worked round the clock over the past weekend to reorientate the locations of the islands of Ireland and the… Read more »
AHEAD of her speech to the British parliament, the Queen will be flown at half mast to signify the grave and ever worsening circumstances surrounding Brexit and the chaos wrought by the Boris Johnson government. The Queen became only the second British monarch to be flown at half mast; the first being King Edward III,… Read more »
“YEAH, I’m destroying them as we speak… relax, you made the right decision,” a calculating Phil Hogan told an unknown voice at the other end of the phone, while caressing an official document confirming his new promotion, “the one with the gimp mask too, yes, and the ball gag one, they’re all gone, I’ll do you all… Read more »
WITH economic uncertainties, the rise of far right nationalism, the dawn of Brexit, and Putin’s meddling, the European Union has never looked better set up to disintegrate into nothing amid acrimony, bitterness and if we’re lucky minimal violence. So there has never been a better time to reacquaint yourself with reductive, unhelpful stereotypes that will… Read more »
THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »