IN A BID to persuade those French people still reluctant to participate in the Covid-19 vaccination programme, French president Emmanuel Macron has stated he wants to be ‘a pain in the ass’ to unvaccinated people sparking widespread condemnation of his tone and language. “You think that’s bad, listen here you fucking idiots get the fucking… Read more »
ANGELA MERKEL’S successor as German Chancellor, Olaf Scholz, has urged his European peers and their citizens to just call him Daddy, WWN understands “Mutter Merkel may be gone but fear not, there is little change to how things are. And hey, don’t make it weird but just call me Daddy,” Scholz said directly addressing Europeans,… Read more »
THE Pope has denounced the selfish and narrow-minded way in which Europe is treating migrants during the longstanding crisis in the Mediterranean, but added a firm ‘woah there’ when pressed on what he himself was going to do about it. “I’m more of a problem observer than a problem solver” stated God’s spokesperson on Earth,… Read more »
AN internal investigation has been launched at the Daily Mail after the publication only narrowly avoided calling 27 migrants who drowned in the English channel yesterday ‘people’. “It’s a shocking event, and for as long as I live I don’t think a day will go by when I don’t think about it,” said one senior… Read more »
COVID HAS made it more difficult for our correspondents to report from the ground around the world, and with Europe once again the epicentre of the virus WWN couldn’t in good conscience send our employees into the eye of the airborne storm. So, in an effort to build you an accurate picture of the protests… Read more »
THREATS by Belarusian hothead authoritarian Alexander Lukashenko to halt the supply of natural gas to Europe if fresh sanctions are placed on his country due to the unfolding humanitarian crisis on the border with Poland have lead the world to once again question why natural fuel supplies are always in the hands of ‘mad bucks… Read more »
DOZENS of EU diplomats have taken up smoking and many more are said to have lapsed into alcoholism, as the British Brexit negotiators continues to hammer thorn after thorn into their side with no end in sight. “I never smoked in my life but I’m up to two packs a day now” puffed one German… Read more »
WHILE nobody in the EU has come forward and condoned the Irish Republican Army’s campaign of bloody terror in Northern Ireland, leaks have suggested that many are starting to ‘see where they were coming from’, WWN can report. The memos come as the EU enters yet another crunch round of negotiations in the bitter Brexit… Read more »
FRANKLY bored of the efficient continuity that delivered 16 years of Angela Merkel and her CDU party leading governments, Germans have voted overwhelmingly for a bit of that instability that’s so popular across much of the European continent. “Sure, we’re used to coalitions, but what about an unstable one that takes months to form and… Read more »
NEW RESEARCH coming into WWN Sport from the Institute of Sports Research has revealed that US golf fans are more irritating than a thousands mosquitos bites doused in vinegar and set on fire. Citing ample course side evidence from team USA’s dominant and impressive Ryder Cup victory, the ISR confirmed that you’d be forgiven for… Read more »