AHEAD of her speech to the British parliament, the Queen will be flown at half mast to signify the grave and ever worsening circumstances surrounding Brexit and the chaos wrought by the Boris Johnson government. The Queen became only the second British monarch to be flown at half mast; the first being King Edward III,… Read more »
“YEAH, I’m destroying them as we speak… relax, you made the right decision,” a calculating Phil Hogan told an unknown voice at the other end of the phone, while caressing an official document confirming his new promotion, “the one with the gimp mask too, yes, and the ball gag one, they’re all gone, I’ll do you all… Read more »
WITH economic uncertainties, the rise of far right nationalism, the dawn of Brexit, and Putin’s meddling, the European Union has never looked better set up to disintegrate into nothing amid acrimony, bitterness and if we’re lucky minimal violence. So there has never been a better time to reacquaint yourself with reductive, unhelpful stereotypes that will… Read more »
THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »
ALTHOUGH the country has long been familiar with what an ungrateful and discontented bunch of moaning bastards farmers are, there has been mild shock at the release of a report confirming that fishermen ‘aren’t much better’. Fishermen, rapidly gaining a name for themselves as ‘the farmers of the sea’ have been in the news in recent… Read more »
GROUPS of well-meaning men have gathered in comment sections throughout Europe to question the wisdom in nominating and electing yet more women to positions of genuine power as the worrying trend shows no signs of abating. “Hey, I’m all for electing them to symbolic roles with no power but these ones are serious jobs, and… Read more »
IN RESPONSE to the EU/Mercosur trade deal which will see tariff free beef being imported from South America, the government has publicly stated it would do everything in its power to help Irish beef farmers while simultaneously putting the industry on eBay in a bid to get someone to take them off their hands. “You… Read more »
MAINLAND EUROPE is in the grips of an unprecedented recording-setting heat wave and French authorities are now on high alert as the Eiffel Tower is slowly beginning to melt in the intense and unrelenting heat. The famous tower was constructed at a time when the average temperatures during summer were far lower than the ones… Read more »
EXHAUSTIVE and far reaching investigations, reports, statements and reviews have returned the verdict that the Brits, without a doubt, remain completely witless when it comes to the thing they voted in favour of three years ago. Any fresh shoots of progress, compromise and common sense that could have emerged through recent local and continental elections… Read more »
THE Brexit news-free days that have passed since British PM Theresa May was granted an extension to the withdrawal of the UK from the EU by European leaders have been described as akin to a blissful utopia where stunningly beautiful people bring you to orgasm repeatedly while you lie on a bed of the finest… Read more »