Government Advise Wearing Face Masks Over Eyes When Purchasing Goods
IN A BID to curb the effects of spiralling inflation on the struggling nation, the government has advised consumers to wear a face mask over their eyes when purchasing goods to avoid being shocked by prices, WWN reports.
“We’ve listened to your repeated calls to do something about the cost of living and we believe this short term solution will get people through the next few years while prices continue to rise,” Taoiseach Micheál Martin explained at a press hearing today, “shopping, filling your car up with petrol, eating out, opening a utility bill; these should all be done while wearing a face mask over your eyes and will also come in handy for the next covid wave that we’re not preparing for in a few weeks – it’s genius really”.
Martin’s eye mask suggestion comes after large protests took place in six towns and cities across Ireland yesterday over the cost of living, protests the Taoiseach didn’t see as he was trying out the mask solution at the time.
“I didn’t get to witness these protests as I was wearing a face mask over my eyes at the time, but this goes to show that stress can be avoided with this solution and that it does indeed work,” Martin added, before donning a mask over his eyes as reporters began asking him questions.
“See? it works, it’s like all of my problems have just disappeared,” he continued as he was now being led away from the podium by an aide as questions continued to be hurled at him, “I can’t recommend these enough, seriously, I must wear these at Dáil question time too”.