Family Just Have To Hold On ‘Til Budget 2023, Everything Will Be Fine Then

THE government has told the public that there’s ‘no need for thanks’ after moving Budget 2023 up by two weeks, adding that ‘it’s the least we can do to thank you all for your continued support’ while stressing that there’s no need to buy them any gifts in return.

Budget 2023 will be held on September 27th instead of its traditional mid-October time slot, and the government are confident that the package of measures in Paschal Donohoe’s briefcase will easily help struggling households tackle the cost of living crisis, with maybe even ‘a cheeky few quid left over’ to just play around with.

“Deadly, now all I have to do is make it through the next three months without caving under the soaring costs of electricity, fuel, food, clothing, and of course all the back to school supplies,” cheered one Waterford family we spoke to.

“Sure if the budget is as deadly as the minister says, then it’ll only be a matter of time before we manage to repay the savings accounts we’ve been dipping into for the last 6 months to make ends meet.

“I wonder does the budget include anything to help us perhaps secure our own home, rather than continue to rent? Because it wouldn’t seem so bad to be broke because you’re paying your mortgage, rather than paying off someone else’s. I mean, we’ve depleted the money we’ve been saving for our deposit just to keep the car on the road and food in the cupboards, so I suppose it’s a moot point really”.

Meanwhile the government are considering nixing another €200 fuel allowance in favour of just transferring millions of taxpayers money directly into the bank accounts of energy companies, as it’s ‘just less paperwork’.