Tag: politics

US Republicans Propose Arming Foetuses In The Womb

RESPONDING to the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives voting to raise the age for purchasing a semi-automatic weapon to 21, US Republicans countered by proposing a law which would arm all foetuses in the womb with an AR-15 instead. “No one wants to do more to keep children safe than Republicans, just look at our record… Read more »

Government Regrets Asking Man In Charge Of Fixing McDonalds Ice Cream Machine To Build Metrolink

THE coalition government has apologised for an ‘error in judgement’ in the procurement process relating the long delayed Metrolink project following revelations first reported by Waterford Whispers News. David Fennelly, chief ice cream machine maintenance engineer at fast food giant McDonalds had been awarded the lucrative contract to build and maintain the Metrolink but has… Read more »

Johnson Would Refuse To Resign If Caught Drinking Pint Out Of Deceased Queen’s Skull During Her Funeral, Finds Report

A NEW REPORT conducted by the Boris Behaviour Commission has confirmed that the current British PM Boris Johnson has an incredibly high threshold for what he believes is a resign-worthy scandal. Faced with constant accusations of lying and presiding over a corrupt, rule-breaking government, Johnson confirmed not even being caught drinking a pint out of… Read more »

Emergency Sitting Of Dáil Called To Increase Politicians Pay After Senator Spends Night In Car

WHILE the rest of the country was slumbering peacefully after double checking every single electrical item was plugged out and the heating wasn’t on, Ireland’s politicians passed legislation to ensure the nightmare of the cost of living crisis didn’t apply to them. After Fianna Fáil senator Eugene Murphy suffered the consequences of his government’s policies… Read more »

Irish Person Doesn’t Understand Why Australians Didn’t Vote Back In Government They Hated

LOCAL man Colm Fitzsimons has expressed his confusion at the Australian election results, giving voice to the bemusement many Irish people greeted a result which saw the governing party ousted in decisive fashion. “Why didn’t you contrive to split the vote to such an extent that it delivered a result which pleased absolutely no one… Read more »