Tag: europe

Hogan Burns Compromising Photos Of Enemies As Promised

“YEAH, I’m destroying them as we speak… relax, you made the right decision,” a calculating Phil Hogan told an unknown voice at the other end of the phone, while caressing an official document confirming his new promotion, “the one with the gimp mask too, yes, and the ball gag one, they’re all gone, I’ll do you all… Read more »

A Complete Collection Of European Stereotypes

WITH economic uncertainties, the rise of far right nationalism, the dawn of Brexit, and Putin’s meddling, the European Union has never looked better set up to disintegrate into nothing amid acrimony, bitterness and if we’re lucky minimal violence. So there has never been a better time to reacquaint yourself with reductive, unhelpful stereotypes that will… Read more »

Ireland Fucked, UK Fucked, The North Fucked, Everything Fucked

THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »

Eiffel Tower Slowly Beginning To Melt In Heatwave

MAINLAND EUROPE is in the grips of an unprecedented recording-setting heat wave and French authorities are now on high alert as the Eiffel Tower is slowly beginning to melt in the intense and unrelenting heat. The famous tower was constructed at a time when the average temperatures during summer were far lower than the ones… Read more »