Tag: dublin

Woman Enters 25th Year Of Pretending To Be A Lesbian

LOCAL woman Marie Finlan is reported to be sticking with her pretense of being a lesbian after a quarter of a century, according to sources in her small, rural hometown. Having initiated her ‘lesbian phase’ in the early nineties after returning from trying to be cool while attending college in Dublin, Waterford local Finlan was expected to… Read more »

Nobody Shot In Dublin Today [UPDATED]

FOLLOWING months of gangland violence that has produced an ever-heightening pile of bodies, WWN can report that nobody has been shot in Dublin today. The whole day passed without incident, fostering a feeling that the guards were in control of the situation, and that human life still had value in the city. With no bullets… Read more »

Lad On Bus Gets Random Erection Just Before His Stop

WWN understands that earlier today a Dublin man was treated for shock following an incident involving his erection. Patrick Dooley, a 22 year-old DIT student, was on the 16 bus heading out of town when the disturbing incident occurred. Eye witness accounts state that Patrick seemed to look around nervously as the bus approached the… Read more »

Dublin Man ‘Just A Friend’ For 134th Time

THERE were touching yet somewhat depressing scenes in Dublin last night as friends gathered to acknowledge perennial ‘just a friend’ Darragh Sweeney on the occasion of his 25th birthday. “Ah, I love him to bits,” shared beautiful model and strictly friends with Darragh, Ciara Coveney. “Me and Darragh? God, no! I mean he asked me… Read more »