Tag: crime

Buckingham Palace Closed Due To Floods Of Sweat

THE ROYAL residence has been damaged in a flash flood caused by the sudden and violent expulsion of unprecedented volumes of sweat which burst forth from the pores of Prince Andrew after he learned of an upcoming exclusive BBC interview with his accuser Virginia Giuffre. “Oh, goodness, I’m cured, what a relief” shared the prince,… Read more »

“But I Still Get Paid, Right?”

“So I step down from whatever it is I’m meant to be doing, but I still get paid?” Prince Andrew asked the Queen, frantically checking his bank account balance on his £12,000 gold-plated Apple watch, “like, I can still keep all this money and piss off to Thailand… Ma’am?” With the reality of his situation… Read more »

All The Ways Prince Andrew’s Interview Could Have Gone Worse

IT’S the embarrassing, reputation-ruining PR nightmare of an interview everyone is talking about. Prince Andrew’s feeble attempt to justify his friendship with sex trafficker, offender and paedophile Jeffrey Epstein in an interview with the BBC’s Emily Maitlis had viewers scratching their heads, searching for the words which adequately do justice to the sort of ignorance,… Read more »

Public Urged To Just Get Used To Shootings

AS THE number of lives claimed as part of several ongoing criminal feuds across the country continues to rise, authorities have urged the general Irish public to maybe get used it because it isn’t going to end any time soon. “Where’s that can-do Irish spirit of persevering through hardship? C’mon guys, we’ll get through this…well,… Read more »