THE NATION’S drug dealers along with strung out users have today made an emotional appeal to An Garda Síochána to loosen checkpoints up and down the country amid one of the most serious drug droughts the underworld has ever seen. Afraid to transport even the smallest of contraband from town to town, city to city,… Read more »
MUCH NEEDED clarification on whether or not gangland hits qualify for ‘essential service’ status has come in the form of the shooting dead of a man in Belfast, believed to be connected to a Dublin drug gang. “There’s been some confusion but lookit, life, or the taking of life has to go on. We can’t… Read more »
DECIMATED by the coronavirus lockdown, the nation’s career criminals have come out in force to ask the general public if they could leave at least one or two items of value in their garden sheds in a bid to keep them ticking over during the crisis. Unable to avail of government grants, burglars said they’re… Read more »
FOLLOWING the announcement that all restrictions due to the covid-19 crisis are to continue until the 19th of April, the Kinahan drugs cartel have made an announcement of their own. The corporation, which runs the majority of the nation’s drug supply, has launched a 12 tonne heroin stimulus package over the next year which should… Read more »
CONVICTED rapist Harvey Weinstein has ordered his legal team to push for a retrial in the Republic Of Ireland, stating that ‘a mass murderer in Ireland’ wouldn’t have received the 23-year sentence he was handed yesterday. Weinstein, 67, is set to face two decades in jail for a litany of sexual assault convictions; in stark… Read more »
AFTER a far-right terrorist killed 11 people in a xenophobically motivated attack in Germany received none of the wall to wall coverage usually given to a Muslim who sneezes in an aggressive manner, far-right terrorists everywhere have demanded equal treatment from the world’s media. “Half of you fuckers didn’t even put out a push notification… Read more »
BATTLING through the tears and halfheartedly mumble-singing the words to ‘Happy Birthday’, Prince Andrew took in his 60th birthday at his most favourite alibi and eatery in all of Britain; Pizza Express. Despite sending out invites well in advance to his nearest and dearest including his mother, the Queen and on the run friend Ghislaine… Read more »
A CONSORTIUM of Irish criminals, crooks, villains, ruffians, roustabouts and ne’er-do-wells have issued a statement expressing their concerns about the recent rise in crime from better run, more effective foreign gangs. The joint statement comes following Gardaí investigations into a Lithuanian crime syndicate who have been operating a multi-million Euro bicycle theft ring in major… Read more »
POLICE in Los Angeles have launched an investigation into the murder of Hollywood icon Kirk Douglas who was found dead this morning in his home from a suspected gunshot wound to the centre of his chin, WWN can report. The silver screen legend, star of such films as Spartacus and Paths Of Glory, was 103… Read more »
ANGRY right wing mobs demanding justice for victims of child sex abuse are conspicuous by their absence outside the gates of Buckingham Palace at the moment, with calls to the phone of famed pedo-gang hunter Tommy Robinson currently going direct to voicemail. Robinson, known for his dogged determination when it comes to seeking retribution against… Read more »