IN ADDITION to introducing new legislation to allow for electronic monitoring of sex offenders, the government has confirmed electronic ankle monitors will also be used for even more disgusting individuals; those who try to get of buying a round when their turn rolls round.
“The idea is that this technology can alert publicans and bar staff to their presence, and of course patrons – you just don’t know who you’ll meet in a smoking area, have craic with, get into rounds with, only to discover they’re the most heinous and barbarous animals on earth,” explained Sergeant John Navan, speaking to reporters about the new law.
It is estimated that in Ireland you’re never more than 50 metres away from a registered round dodger, making this new monitoring system even more essential and timely.
“The offenders will have to present themselves daily at their nearest pub and sign in, so bar staff know what they look like. And yes, they can grow a beard or long hair to change their appearance but that’s where the electronic tag comes in,” added Sergeant Navan.
Such is the shame related to being tagged, and the violence a mob could exact on you if you’re identity is revealed many round dodgers are claiming they’re actually sex offenders to avoid being on the receiving end of such outrage.
When asked how this will impact their round dodging tactics, one infamous round dodger said he would answer the question but had to go home first because he forgot his wallet.