THINK you have problems? Count yourself lucky that you aren’t 43-year-old Waterford man Phil MacLoone, who earlier today received a chilling text from one of his pals hinting at a possible piss-up in the pair’s near future. “Once you pass 40, you’d rather get a letter from Revenue saying there’s some irregularities with your accounts… Read more »
SLOUCHING over his school desk while trying to nurse the mother of all hangovers, 13-year-old Waterford teen Tony Phelan vowed to never again drink on a school night, WWN reports. Citing a banging headache, upset gut and still kind of being drunk, Phelan told fellow classmates it’s never worth it the next day. “Oh, it… Read more »
A LONG-awaited reform of Ireland’s outdated licensing laws may allow nightclubs to stay open until 6am which should be more than enough time for the majority of sessioners, but not Waterford legend Marcus Dennehy. “Ah yeah 6am, but they’ll still give you a round of shots after it for the road if you talk right… Read more »
IT’S BEEN a while and even the most hardened veteran of Paddy’s Days past is entitled to a bout of humility and admit they need a refresher course in how to survive the carnage. Here’s a reminder of all the handy tips you’ll need to help you survive the festivities: Remember to eat 5 portions… Read more »
TEQUILAPHOBIA continues to be a issue that affects one in four Irish people according to recent studies, with sufferers such as Waterford’s Eamon Killeen reporting that even the slightest sniff of the Mexican spirit causes incredibly violent reactions. In most cases, including Killeen’s, their aversion to the spirit stems from a bout of over-consumption which… Read more »
A LUCKY Waterford man currently in town for ‘a quiet few pints’ with the lads has received a text message from his wife with those three little words that every man in a pub wants to here; ‘sure stay out’. “Are you sure?” slurred Francis McWard, ringing his wife to clarify while ordering his fourth… Read more »
IT’S being described as the Buzz Lightyear for the middle aged man, the ‘Cabbage Patch Doll for aul lads’- it’s the Guinness Nitrosurge device, a gadget that promises to deliver pub-perfect pints of stout in your own home. But while the special Nitrosurge cans are freely available in every off-licence in the country, the actual… Read more »
IN ADDITION to introducing new legislation to allow for electronic monitoring of sex offenders, the government has confirmed electronic ankle monitors will also be used for even more disgusting individuals; those who try to get of buying a round when their turn rolls round. “The idea is that this technology can alert publicans and bar… Read more »
BET into her sitting room couch like a soggy cream cracker, local woman Treena Ryan has called on the government to revisit the idea of assisted dying after downing a half bottle of vodka, six glasses of wine, four Jager bombs and an extra spicey kebab tray late last night. Ryan, who is only 37-years-old,… Read more »
HIS thoughts cloaked in a persistently murky and dark cloud, circling a nonstop parade of negative thoughts, one local man is said to delighted to be enveloped in a full blown episode of the crippling ‘fear’ after a weekend of late night sessions which he has been largely robbed of these past 19 months. “Two… Read more »