‘Cum-Ex’ Tax Fraud Scandal: We See How Many Disgusting Innuendos We Can Fit In One Article

WWN goes deep inside the Cum-Ex tax fraud scandal, which has seen banks, stock traders, and lawyers obtain billions from European treasuries through fraud and speculation involving dividend taxes, and this publication is ready to excitedly squirt as much information on you as possible.

With Cum-Ex splashed all over the front pages, WWN has worked long and hard to penetrate through the surface level reporting to undress all the relevant details, all while jamming as many disgusting innuendos down your throat as possible.

A real NSFW (not suitable for white-collar-workers) story, Cum-Ex, aside from arousing your perverted interests, also lays naked the reality there is always a variety of financial firms queuing up to screw to public coffers and get bang from someone else’s buck.

Using a veritable orgy of coordinated and dishonest financial transactions a network of traders, hedge funds and banks were edging toward engorging themselves on illicit profits by strapping on multiple refunds of dividends and teasing and withholding tax.

In simple terms, effectively spit-roasting dividends without letting the authorities know. Dividend stripping so impressive, it only accepts €50 or larger bills in its g-string.

Between Cum-Ex and a similar scheme called oh, seriously? ‘Cum-Cum’? Really? Who is naming these fucking things? Well anyway, the schemes cost European tax authorities in the region of €140bn in lost revenue.

Among the bad, bad boys whose Dublin offices were used by those allegedly perpetrating the fraud include Investec and BNP Paribas, as well as Bank of Ireland Securities Services.

It is believed Irish residents are among the 700 people under investigation by German investigators and could be probed in the future.

And somehow this news, which brings more shame on Irish financial institutions than your Pornhub search history does on your family, has barely made an impact in the wider public.

The Cum-Ex scandal was largely allowed to keep plowing away until a whistleblower blew his load of information all over the media, forcing authorities into clamping down, issuing playful slaps on the wrists and playing as a Dom for once.

Total innuendo count: much like the person at the business end of a glory hole, we’ve lost count.