Category: HEALTH

‘My Only Regret Is Not Featuring In An Internet Viral Video Campaign’, Says Dying Mugabe

ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe told family members and friends last night that his only regret was never featuring in an internet viral video campaign like ‘Kony 2012’. The cancer stricken leader flew to Singapore by private jet on Saturday for treatment, but took a turn for the best and is said to be suffering excruciating pain in his final… Read more »

Bad Behaviour In Kids Linked To Being ‘Spoilt little Shits’, Finds Study

CHILDREN who show the early signs of bad behaviour are said to be directly linked to being ‘spoiled little shits’, new research suggests today. In contrast, children who were not ‘spoilt rotten’ by their parents and extended family were less likely to create publicly embarrassing situations during childhood. It suggests that the traditional notion of ‘discipline’… Read more »

Zoo Panda’s Finally Mate After Introduction Of Samantha Brick Mask

A pair of Chinese pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have finally mated after a Samantha Brick mask was placed on the female bears face. Tian Tian and Yang Guang will hopefully have babies this year thanks to a card board cut out of the beautiful woman’s face, Edinburgh Zoo’s press officer told WWN today. The successful attempt to mate followed other attempts on Tuesday and Wednesday were it seemed the male panda had no interest in the ordinary looking female…. Read more »

Half Of Teens Back ID Cards To Help Remember Name And Address When Drunk

PRESSURE is mounting on the Irish Government to introduce a national identity card scheme following a survey which found that over half of teenagers feel this would help them remember important personal details when drunk. The WIT survey asked over 4,000 teenagers across the country what they thought about the introduction of a compulsory ID… Read more »

Over 98,000 Motorists Still Pick Nose Every Day.

MORE than 98,000 drivers a day are picking their nose while driving. A new WIT survey comes just two days after a Tramore man knocked down a prize heifer outside a Kilmeadan farm while ‘pick driving’ on his way to work. Under the Road Traffic Act 2009, drivers caught fondling their nostrils while driving will… Read more »

Woman ‘Ecstatic’ After Abducting Newborn Baby

A CORK woman who stole a 2-week-old girl from the local Maternity hospital said she is absolutely ‘ecstatic’ today after evading Gardai and search-parties the past two days. After some very careful planning, Theresa Power snatched the child from hospital on Monday and is said to be very happy with her newly aquired baby girl. “Its… Read more »